Some random thoughts on the day of Beckham's first MLS game

I am immortal
I have inside me blood of kings
I have no rival
No man can be my equal
Take me to the future of your world

Born to be kings, princes of the universe
Fighting and free
Got your world in my hand
I'm here for your love and I'll make my stand
We were born to be princes of the universe

Queen - Princes of the Universe

Okay, the whole Beckham spectacle is absolutely ridiculous. I have to say, it's rather impressive. 300,000 jerseys sold?? That is insane! Now, I've previously stated that I didn't think Beckham could make soccer popular in the US, but what I failed to consider is the paparazzi and celebrity friends that follow him. Beckham is famous for being famous. And he has famous friends. If you want attention in America, those two things are gold. I mean, look at Paris Hilton. I have no idea why she's even in the news. I wanna see where soccer can go with Beckham. The problem I foresee is that he will be bigger than the actual game. The NFL has avoided this at all costs. Babe Ruth, Gretzky and Jordan did this to baseball, hockey and basketball, respectively, and in the long run it may have hurt their sports (though it can also be argued that Gretzky and Jordan saved their sports in the first place). I mean, Ruth is still more popular than ANY baseball player alive today. And it can be argued that neither the NHL or NBA have recovered from the retirements of Gretzky and Jordan. It's too damn hard to find athletes who are both excellent ambassadors for their sports AND the most talented in their sport. Regardless, if anyone can make soccer big in America it is Beckham. And I gotta say, I'll be rooting for him. It's gonna be a tough road though.

- So I was trying to think of why Beckham would leave Europe to come here. This is a country where poker is more popular than soccer. Obviously, the money was sweet. And I totally underestimated how hyped his arrival would be. But if you're a pro athlete, don't you have that urge to play at the highest level? The MLS is probably comparable to the second division in one of the major European leagues. Beckham is better than that. Watching the last few minutes of his Galaxy debut, though, it hit me.... he really can't lose here. He's already being hailed a savior and will make every MLS team money simply by him playing in the game. Since it's the MLS, there really isn't any pressure. Compared to the British sports media that regularly rips Beckham apart, the American media will be much softer, and thus far our media have embraced Beckham to a degree that I find quite astounding. EVERYONE is talking about him, and it's all been positive. If you were given a fuck load of money to live in LA, have relatively little pressure on you, and be treated like a hero (and this is before you even played a game!), how could you turn this down? Yeah, the competition in Europe is greater. But the money would likely not be as good, the pressure would be100 times greater, and Beckham would not be as dominant a figure as he can be in the MLS. And ultimately, if he can manage to truly penetrate the American sports zeitgeist and make soccer a major part of US culture, then he will be more than a big-time athlete. He will go down with Jordan, Gretzky and Ruth and will become the stuff of legends.

- Seriously, how do people just walk into a bar wearing a cowboy hat, boots, and overalls while taking themselves seriously? You fuckers look ridiculous! Granted, you're also all roughly 5 inches and 100 pounds bigger than me, so do as you wish.

- Thick Texas accents piss me off. Thus far, I think the only accents I actually like are Wisconsin accents. They amuse me.

- They should rename Texarkana Land O' Lakes, cause every girl here is a butter face

-If they gave out medals for picking out the slowest check-out line at stores, I would win gold all the time

- On a related note, Walmarts kinda creep me out. Not sure if it's the mass consumerism or the fact that the gigantic Walmarts they have here just remind me of the south. There's just something intrinsically wrong with a store that refuses to sell albums that have 'explicit lyrics' but has no problem selling guns

- If ESPN's plan was to put Jessica Biel on 'Who's Now?' in an effort to get me to watch... it worked. If you're a girl, and you want a guy, go learn some sports facts. It's ensures that you always have a conversation piece and it's hot as hell.

Other things girls should do:
- Wear jeans that have like slits near the knees. They have that punk vibe too em. Love that
- Learn to cook. EVERY guy you know will love you if you make them food
- Learn to fix cars. When the chick in Transformers is trying to fix Bumblebee.... just damn (the midriff baring shirt and hip-hugging jeans also helped a tad)

- Why's Cuba Gooding doing Hanes commercials with MJ? These are weird