Things that are Currently Pissing me Off

I can feel the wheel, but I cant steer
When my thoughts become my biggest fear

Ah, whats the difference, Ill die
In this sick world of mine

What the hell am i?
Leper from inside
Inside wall of peace
Dirty and diseased

Sickman, sickman, sickman, sickman

I can see the end is getting near
I wont rest until my head is clear

Alice in Chains - Sickman

1) Those stupid roller shoes.
These are just plain dumb. If you dont know what I'm talking about, go here. These are the stupidest footwear items I have ever seen. Okay, I get pumps. I even get the sneakers that had like flashy lights on them, those were kinda cool. But roller shoes? Have you seen kids walking around in these things, dragging their feet? How annoying is that?? And aren't these remotely dangerous somehow? I personally don't care about my shoes. As long as they fit and are comfortable, I'm happy. So I'm probably the last person on the planet who should be commenting on shoe fashion. But these things are just ridiculous. Just buy a pair of roller skates if you really want to move on wheels. Seriously, someone explain the appeal of these atrocities to me. Just stupid-ass shit.

2) Fat, ugly people that run without shirts
Look, you're fat and you're ugly.... put on a fucking shirt! Clothes were invented for people like you. Good for you that you're trying to lose some of that weight, but until you do, keep the damn clothes on. Watching your man boobs bounce around near your ankles is down-right nauseating.

3) Space stealers on planes
I can't afford first-class. I don have that kind of money. So I'm stuck in the sardine can that they call coach. Honestly, I'm not a big dude, I'd be fine. But my problem is when the person next to me has their arm half-way into my seat and is elbowing me in the back, then has the audacity to ask me if they're "bothering me?" Bitch, your fucking elbow is digging into my kidney! Yes you're bothering me!! See the damn arm rest, that's the boundary. How bout I punch you in your eye? Would that bother you?? You stay on your side, I'll stay on mine. Now if you'll remove your appendage from my orifice, I'm gonna try and take a nap

4) People with shitty grammar
Bad grammar in general has a tendency to annoy me. If it doesn't sound right it's probably cause it's not. But I'll let most things side (other than the mental note to lower my judgment of the person due to their grammatical faux pas). But the one thing that pisses me off is when people mix up "your" and "you're". You always see people write something like 'your an asshole.' I mean, c'mon now. How bad has English gotten in this country that we can't distinguish between 'your' and 'you're'? They don't even sound similar! You know why Spanish will be our national language in 20 years? Cause we speak it a hell of a lot better than we do English.

5) Porn with one girl and three or more guys
Just too much cock in one place. No one benefits.

6) Girls that refuse to make out with other girls
Look, every girl is curious as to what kissing another girl is like. It's part of that lesbian gene that every girl possesses (note: alcohol has a way of activating this gene, a catalyst of sorts). And all of your guy friends will adore you for it (it's part of the male gene, we simply can't look away when two girls are doing stuff with each other). You kill two birds with one stone. So stop the prudish shit and just do it. Everyone benefits.

That's all I can think of for now...

The Man in Black

As sure as night is dark and day is light
I keep you on my mind both day and night
And happiness I've known proves that it's right
Because you're mine, I walk the line

You've got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line

Johnny Cash - I Walk the Line

I don't like country music. I find it trite and whiny. And there's something about the tonal quality of country music that just strikes me the wrong way. Living in the South, though, I am inevitably asked the question "sooo, are you a country fan?" And my answer is always the same: "I can't stand it.... except for Johnny Cash." They love Cash down here (along with Stevie Ray Vaughn and The Eagles) so that answer at least gets me somewhat good in their books.
Most people tend not to consider Cash 'country' per se, and I tend to agree. His music is not what I really think of when I think of country music. Yeah, he has the twangy guitar, the low voice, and the sad tales of woe. But there's something about Johnny Cash that just transcends basic country and this quality is the reason why he has so many fans in a multitude of genres. The thing about Cash is that he actually lived a lot of his songs, whether it was serving prison time or being addicted to drugs (for a good, quick bio on the early years of Cash take a look at Walk the Line). Most country today is barely disinguishable from regular pop music. It's the same old songs sung by people that sound exactly the same. But Cash was always able to find the true essence of 'country' in his music. His songs were dark, pessimistic, passionate. They were full of despair and warned against what could happen to people that strayed down the wrong track, with Cash using himself as the example. That is what country should be.
The music of Johnny Cash is truly timeless. And the man never lost his touch. Listening to his cover of Nine Inch Nail's "Hurt," which is what inspired me to write this, is a haunting experience. It will literally chill you to the core. Also, have a listen to his version of Soundgarden's "Rusty Cage." Just phenomenal. But despite the high standards of his later work, it is Cash's older stuff that are his true masterpieces and influenced an entire generation of musicians (both country and otherwise). Listening to "Folsom Prison Blues," "Highway Man," or "Burning Ring of Fire," among many other songs, is an emotional experience. You can feel Cash's heartache with each word and melancholy strum of the guitar. And when it came to analyzing relationships, drugs, or life in general, there really was no one like Cash. He was a poet. What Bob Dylan was to folk and Stevie Wonder was to soul, Cash was to country. And besides that, he was a total badass. He did what he wanted, when he wanted to. And who else could pull off an all-black wardrobe? Just fuckin pimp. A listen to Cash now and he still manages to utterly change your mood, to take you away to a place far from the city and into the solitude of the country. Cash wouldn't care for the country music of today. It's not heartfelt. It's not real. It's pop drivel played with a twangy guitar. It's the anti-Cash. Johnny was a rebel. He took everything that society expected of him and spit it back in its face. You want one of the true godfathers of punk and social music? Look no farther than Johnny Cash. And in that regard, he wouldn't give a damn what had become of 'country' music today. He'd simply down a fifth of whiskey, grab his guitar, and keep on playing. Long live the man in black.

I Lose My Faith In Humanity

We've lived with past mistakes
And we've lived with our own
Forgive, forget forgive
Be a man, not a child
There are to tears for peace
Of the common sympathies
Educate, reinstate, educate
A thing of past
The trouble in the states
It's time to rise

Pantera - Rise

So we have another deadly shooting. This time on Virginia Tech's campus. Some fucker goes and kills 30 plus people. Not even a year after we have some jackass go and shoot a bunch of girls in an Amish school. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit shaken. I mean, I have friends on campuses across the country. It easily could've been their school. But what really bothers me is that I just can't comprehend what would compel someone to do something like this. Okay, you're unhappy, so going and taking innocent lives is gonna make it all better? What the fuck is wrong with people?? I'm naturally cynical and expect the worst out of humanity, but this is absolutely appalling. What kinda sick fuck goes and does something like this?
And of course, with any killing we'll get the requisite explanations for "why they went on a killing-spree." They'll blame everything from music, to movies, to the killer's parents. Fuck that. You know who we never blame?? The murderers' themselves. We live in a society where people aren't expected to take responsibility for their actions. You spill hot coffee on you while driving, you sue McDonalds... and win. I don't care what happened to this guy, there's no way to justify this. He plays Halo? So do millions of other people, and you don't see them running around gunning people down. His parents beat him? I'm sorry, but do you see millions of other beaten kids shootng people? No more excuses. The sad fact is, out of a nation of 600 million you are inevitably going to end up with a few absolute nutcases. The scary part is you won't know who the nutcase is until it's too late.
So is there any real way to prevent shit like this? Sadly, short of psychologically profiling the entire country, not really. It may be time to impose some gun control on the country. I love freedom and liberty as much as anyone (probably more so than other people) but the 'right to bear arms' is an old and outdated amendment. It was created due to the presence of hostile British forces in our country. We don't need that anymore. Are we a gun crazy nation? Some would say yes (take a look at Michael Moore's Bowling for Columbine; it's extremely one-sided, like any Moore film, but he raises some very interesting points). I don't know about that, but the gun lobby certainly has more sway than it really should. Well, I say fuck the NRA. Fuck the gun-loving South (yes, I'm giving in to stereotypes again, but they really do love their guns down here.) Maybe if our government stopped thinking about votes and thought about the people they supposedly represent, they'd make a decision that benefits their constituents. I never think a few should be able to determine the actions of the many, but when the few are starting to kill and hurt the many, an exception must be made. There are just too many psychos out there that have easy access to guns.
I'd like to think this is the last time I'll see a tragedy like this, but I doubt it. There are some things, some people I will never understand. How one can go and kill anybody, especial a bunch of college students, is simply beyond my understanding. I don't know the killer's story. Frankly, I don't want to. What he did is unconscionable and nothing I hear about him will make me feel any sympathy for him. Life's tough, but that doesn't give you the right to take the lives of others. Tonight there are 32 less souls on the planet that deserve to be here. May they rest in peace.

Some basketball and other notes for a rainy Friday

- First off, I heart wine. It's tasty. It's light. You can drink it when you're hungover. Goes good with food. Doesn't fill you up. And gives me a great buzz

- Don Imus got fired.... HA! Serves the fucker right. They needed to make an example of someone

_ Looking at Oden and Durant, they both need to come out. For the most part I'm a proponent of kids staying in college (they get an education, they better their game, and it keeps the quality of both the NBA and college basketball at a higher level.) But neither Oden nor Durant have any competition in college basketball. Did you see Oden in the championship game? He utterly dominated Noah, Horford, and Richard, all three of whom will play in the NBA (Noah and Horford will likely be lottery picks.) And his block on Brewer, where he basically snatched the ball out of Corey's hands in mid-air, was completely ridiculous. I distinctly remember yelling at the TV as I saw the play. Is Oden ready to dominate the NBA like he did the college game? No. But the dude is good. And he might not even be done growing. And best of all, he can defend. It's always easier to teach offense than defense. And the only way his game is going to progress is by competing against the best.
Durant has already declared himself eligible with the draft, and it's the right move. He was already named the NCAA player of the year and there was really nothing else he could accomplish at the college level. He is head-and-shoulders above any competition he would face in college. Yeah, he needs to add some upper body mass, but with his array of moves and range, he should be able to average 20 starting off in the NBA. The thing is, I don't know if we've ever seen anything like Kevin Durant before. He's Tracy McGrady in KG's body (and Durant's not done growing yet either!) His shot may not be as nice as Dirk's (and really, whos' is?), but his post-up game is probably already better than Dirk's and Durant has that instinct where he knows when to take over a game (something that took until Nash left the Mavs for Dirk to learn). Both of them will be good, if not excellent, NBA players and made the right choice to leave their respective colleges. Then again, I also thought both Reddick and Morrison would be averaging over 15 a game this year, so what the hell do i know...

- The Carolina guys made the right decision to stay in school. Ellington is still to inconsistent to play in the NBA. Lawson is going to be good, but point guards need time to develop an gain as much experience as they can get. Point guard's just too hard of a position. Look at Shaun Livingston and Sebastian Telfair. Both entered the NBA striaght out of high school,and to say they have struggled is an understatement. While you could claim injuries as an excuse for Livingston failing to realize his expectations, Telfair has nothing. Was he overhyped? Yeah, probably. But playing point guard in the NBA is similar to playing quarterback ithe NFL. It's too important and difficult of a position to have a rookie playing it. The best point guards got that way through experience. Nash and Kidd didn't get real good till they were in he league for a few years. Deron Williams and Chris Paul are both real good, but both also spent at least a few years honing their skills at the college level. Lawson will be good, but he needs at least one more year, if not more. Tyler Hanborough is also returning to UNC. This is a good move. Look, he plays hard and all, but I'm just not the biggest Hanborough fan. How many good big, white basketball players are there in the NBA? There's Brad Miller... and then who? Robert Swift?? I see Hanborough as a rich man's Mark Madsen. I hope he succeeds though. Prove me wrong Tyler, prove me wrong. The last big Tar Heel player is Brandon Wright, who probably will go to the NBA after only one season at UNC. He has size and long arms, so he'll be drafted on potential. Super. Love those 'potential' draft picks. Go back to school dude, the NBA will wait for you

- It seems that Josh McRoberts, though, is entering the draft. And most mock drafts have the Sixer drafting him and a big, white freshman center from Washington named Spencer Hawes. Seriously, this is what we're getting for trading AI? This is bullshit. If we draft either of these guys I'm hunting down Billy King. If we draft both, I think I might just break down in tears and cry. We need a power forward, but neither will be the answer. Haven't we learned from the Shawn Bradley debacle yet?

- Watch out for the Spurs in the playoffs. With all the talk of the Mavs and Suns, and Dirk and Nash, people seem to have forgotten about Tim Duncan and the Spurs. Bad idea. They're deep, they're playoff tested, they're cool under pressure, and they're extremely well-coached. The Mav are still my pick, but keep an eye on San Antonio.

- On a non-basketball note, Dice K thus far seems as good as advertised. But what about Felix Rodriguez? He manhandled an extremely potent Red Sox lineup. He made both Manny and Big Papi look ridiculous. Impressive. Very impressive

- I had high hopes for the Phillies this year, and thus far they are sucking. The offense hasn't fully clicked yet and the bullpen has been atrocious. I'm not worried about the offense. With Howard, Utley and Rollins, they will eventually get in a groove. But the bullpen worries me. And the Phils are just playing stupid right now. Good teams CANNOT play stupid. Charlie Manuel better get on this in a hurry.

That's it for now. I'd comment on the NHL playoffs, but I have no idea how to find a game on the TV

On Vonnegut

Modern globalization,
Coupled with condemnations,
Unnecessary death,
Matador corporations,
Puppeting your frustrations,
With the blinded flag,
Manufacturing consent,
Is the name of the game,
The bottom line is money,
Nobody gives a fuck.
4000 hungry children leave us per hour,
From starvation,
While billions are spent on bombs,
Creating death showers

System of a Down - Boom!

Kurt Vonnegut passed away yesterday, April 11th, 2007. Needless to say, it's a sad day as the world has lost one of its greatest living literary figures. I do not think it would be hyperbole to say that Vonnegut is one of the most important fiction writers of the moder era. Any literature fan has no doubt come across one of Vonnegut's books, most likely Slaughtehouse-Five or Cat's Cradle. I'm sorry to say that though I've read several of his short stories, the only novel of his that I've read was Slaughterhouse-Five. Vonnegut was as unique an author as we will ever see. He was a science-fiction author that was able to breach mainstream readership. Not many other authors have been able achieve this (maybe Isaac Asimov, Douglas Adams, and Bruce Coville would also be on this short list), and they had a very different writing style than Vonnegut's. Vonnegut's works were always powerful, always passionate, and, perhaps most importantly, they always had a message. Vonnegut was well-known for his ambivalence towards religion and his hatred of war, and these two concepts are constantly displayed in his works. He was never one to shy away from pointing out the folly's of man. If Vonnegut saw something wrong with the world, he was not afraid to point it out. This continued even in his later age as he criticized president Bush and his war in Iraq.
Vonnegut's works did that rare thing that one rarely finds in a book anymore, they made you think. They made you contemplate life, death, the world, humanity, and other 'not so pleasant' topics. He forced us to face that which we'd rather ignore. Try getting that from a John Grisham novel. Vonnegut wrote with a purpose that was above mere entertainment. He made us care. And ultimately, that will be his contribution to literature. He was not 'just another writer' of fantasy. He will be remembered as one of the most thoughtful, influential authors, be it science fiction or otherwise, of the twentieth century. His spirit will live on through the countless number of would-be writers that he has inspired. Hopefully, someone will be able to pick up the torch and carry-on Vonnegut's legacy. But even then, there will never be another Vonnegut. The world mourns a true icon today. Kurt, you will be missed.

Don Imus

Okay, I felt like I should weigh in on the Don Imus situation. Honestly, I'm sick of the whole damn thing. Yeah, what he said was stupid, insensitive and racist. But I mean, are people really that surprised? He's a southern, white, male, controversial radio host (okay, I know I'm being slightly hypocritical by making a large, sweeping generalization about white Southern males, but Imus truly fits the stereotype). He's made a living by being controversial. A good living at that. And c'mon, the man wears frickin cowboy hats for fun! Did we expect him to suddenly become a bastion of African-American rights, a white Jesse Jackson? I don't fuckin think so. Dude's made a lot of money off of making fun of females, minorities and gays. That's what his core audience wants, so that's what he gives them. When they all heard him refer to the Rutger's women's basketball team as a bunch of "hos," they were probably agreeing with him. Is it sad that someone of his ilk is on the air at all? Yes, of course. He stays on the air by appealing to the basest of people's instincts: racism, fear, hate. And why is he on the air? The same reason why so many other Republican, pro-America gas-bags on the air: people are listening. (For a great article on this check out David Foster Wallace's piece. I forget what it's called. It's his last piece in Consider the Lobster.)
A large proportion of this country, whether we want to admit or not, is still inherently racist and tends towards bigotry. People like Imus are their 'spoke-people.' We should know by now that the media has no integrity and will air anything as long as it makes money, and these blow-hard shows are highly profitable. If you think Imus, doesn't want all this attention, you're just being naive. A man like him LIVES for publicity like this. You can't buy it (granted, losing his simulcast on MSNBC hurts... bet the fucker didn't see that coming!) I'd never heard of Imus before this whole debacle. And all this incident will do is to make him seem even more 'real' and give him added credibility in the eyes of his listeners, and to allow him to attract more interested parties to his show. If we want to stop media figures like this from making such statements and, in reality, embarrassing the country as a whole, we have two choices: 1) Change the prevailing atmosphere of intolerance that is still prevalent in America, or 2) Ignore the loud-mouthed fuckers. Obviously, choice number one is not possible. You simply can't change a whole culture. So that leaves us with choice number two. All radio hosts want is people to listen them. Ignore them, and they lose all their power. Sure their listeners will still pay attention to them, but do you know anyone that listens to Don Imus' show? Do you want to know anyone who listens to his show? I think not. Once we stop giving money-hungry bigots like Imus the air-time and attention they want, they will be revealed for what they truly are: ignorant, loud-mouthed, pathetic, and ultimately not really happy with themselves. Imus will not be the last jackass to come out and say some stupid-ass things, but if we stop listening, he may be the last one to get fame out of it.

The Daily Show vs. The Colbert Report

I look at you, then you me
Hungry and thirsty I wait
Holding the lion share
Holding the key
Holding me back 'cause I'm striving to be
Better than you

Metallica - Better Than You

The Daily Show is one of the most important television shows of my generation. What it has done for bringing politics into the national consciousness of teens and young adults cannot be measured. The Jon Stewart-led show has actually managed to make the news interesting and relevant. In a society so satiated with other stimuli, getting people to be interested in something that actually matters is quite a feat indeed. Sure, it's been done with SNL's weekend update, but that's a 5 minute segment as opposed to an entire show. Much of the success of the Daily Show must be placed on the hosting abilities of Stewart. His clever, self-depracating delivery seems both earnest and welcoming. If you are a politician, you have probably been mocked on The Daily Show (especially if you happen to be Republican). But since late-2005, following The Daily Show, helmed by Stewart protege Stephen Colbert, has aired the Colbert Report. Unlike Stewart's Show which is more of a fake news type show, Colbert's is clearly more personality driven without any contributing comedians. It also must be mentioned that Colbert takes the stance of being staunchly pro-American, pro-Republican, and pro-Bush. So after only one and a half years on the air, has the Colbert Report passed The Daily Show in influence?
I say yes. The reason for Colbert passing Stewart in cultural influence can be explained by his willingness to self-promote and try and be bigger than "just a show". Examples of this include Colbert getting a Canadian minor league hockey team to name their mascot the Colbeagles (which subsequently led to 'Stephen Colbert Day' in Oshawa, Ontario) and Ben and Jerry's creating a Colbert inspired ice cream (Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream). Obviously, Colbert's influence has now spread far beyond the average Comedy Central viewer and Colbert has seemed to have flown way by Stewart. Stewart's show is consistently good. But in comedy consistency is never a good thing. Risks ultimately get the most laughs. The Colbert Report dares to go the extra-mile, and in so doing succeeds where The Daily Show fails. It is similar to if one were comparing Jay Leno's Tonight Show to Conan O'Brien's show. You know what you're getting with Leno. It's generally entertaining, but it's safe. O'Brien dares to push the envelope. Many of his bits are hit-or-miss (and on the off-chance that they miss, O'Brien is skilled enough to get a laugh out of the audience). The situation is similar to The Daily Show vs. The Colbert Report. Both are high-quality, well-done shows. And though personally Stewart is the better comedian (in my opinion), the boldness and grandioseness of Colbert has allowed him to push his show beyond the normal boundaries and into the American zeitgeist, somewhere that Stewart has not yet truly entered. Maybe Stewart just needs to get a more aggressive PR rep. But for now, it seems that the student has truly overtaken the teacher.

Some random thoughts for aTuesday evening

- Joakim Noah looks like a horse. Seriously

- The UCLA-Florida game on Saturday night sucked

- If the Sixers draft Josh McRoberts, I'm going all Tonya Harding on Billy King's knee

- I'm excited for baseball season (probably shouldn't be though...)

- Hugo Weaving is doing the voice of Megatron. I'm legitimately excited by this. He was in the Lord of the Rings movies, The Matrix trilogy, and V for Vendetta. An awesome array of movies. I now have high expectations for Transformers (again, probably shouldn't though...)

- If I had a falcon I'd walk around with it on my shoulder. That would be badass

- I would name it Anubis

- Why is sushi so much better when you're inebriated?

- Scarlett Johansson is releasing a CD of Tom Wait covers. This will not be good

- On a music note, Hinder and Seether suck. They're like slightly less crappy versions of Creed.
But seeing how horrendously bad Creed is, they're still horrible

- That acoustic version of "Freak on a Leash" would be a lot better without Amy Lee

- Kelly Hu should do more movies

- Drinking spelling bee should be a sport. I can't think of what exactly the rules would be, but it would include drinking and spelling

- Keith Richards as Johnny Depp's dad in the next Pirates movie? I smell an Oscar

- Lastly, I want one of these