The Gang Mentality

Its only cos you came here with your brothers too
If you came here on your own you'd be dead
Raise a glass or two
You raise a fist or two
Get a shopping basket wrapped round your head

So here we go with the letter
Oh can you fix it for me
24 hour drinking
To keep us all off the streets

So tonight you'll sleep softly in your bed

We are the angry mob
We read the papers everyday
We like who we like
We hate who we hate
But we're also easily swayed
We are the angry mob
We read the papers everyday
We like who we like
We hate who we hate
But we're also easily swayed

Kaiser Chiefs - Angry Mob

So anyone that knows me well knows that I've never read or seen any of the Harry Potter's, never watched Lost, and never sat through Titanic. As someone who lives to read, watch movies, and follow good TV shows, this seems rather perplexing - how could I have never partaken in some of the biggest movie, television, and book crazes of all time? Well let me explain myself.
I have never "fit in". In fact, I make an effort not to fit in. I embrace my uniqueness. To a certain extent, for me, this means doing my own thing and not giving in to the prevailing zeitgeist. I'll watch the blockbusters and listen to a lot of the big artists, but I prefer to embrace indie movies and I love those small bands that no one's heard of. Is this somewhat pretentious? Fuck yeah... but you have to feel important about something, right? I have my wide ranging movie, music, and television interests which give me a self-satisfying sense of cultural superiority.
My avoidance of many things "popular" also stems from my distrust of humanity at large. While I have faith in people as individuals, put them together and all you get is an unthinking mass. I think of it this way: one stray dog is not a problem, hell it can even be cute, but put several stray dogs together and you get a roving, crazed pack of dogs. When I see something that a lot of people like I am naturally skeptical. For me, if everyone likes it, there's a good chance it's not very good.
Some people may see all this as nothing more than ignorant, self-important, nihilistic bullshit, and I'm fine with that, but to live with myself, I can't "sell out" to the world. Theres a good chance my personal ideals (for lack of a better word) are horribly and truly misguided. Perhaps I am missing the boat here; watching the proverbial roses pass me by. But so be it. I am granite when it comes to my views on film and music. Most people don't agree with me, which is good, cause if they did I'd probably have to change my opinion.

Turning Books to Movies

So my hatred for The Golden Compass movie has been expressed to, well, pretty much everyone I know. At first I thought my repulsion was due to the movies straying too far from the book. Over the Christmas holidays I finally watched I Am Legend (read the book about six months ago) and finished reading Children of Men (saw the movie, which I actually enjoyed more than the book, about a year ago). Both these movies detoured drastically from their source material. Compared to them, The Golden Compass was faithful as all hell. But I liked both movies and felt that they did no dis-service to their book counterparts. So why would I have no problem with Children of Men and I Am Legend while being appalled by The Golden Compass?

1) The Golden Compass is part of a larger trilogy, not a stand alone work. And more so, it's part of that particular genre of epic fantasies (The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Star Wars). These books or movies were all created over a series of years and have an absolutely die-hard following. The days spent reading/watching these series created a bond between book and reader. We have a certain perception of the works that we expect to be met in their subsequent adaptations. So while you can get away with drastic changes in I Am Legend or Children of Men (books that simply do not, and cannot, create the same type of bond) there's no way to change things in the epic fantasy sagas without, in the eyes of fans, destroying the very fabric of the story.

2) Though I Am Legend and Children of Men were nothing like their books, they still managed to capture the essence of them. The hopelessness and helplessness and spawning of new life that are present within both books are also present in both movies. The Golden Compass book is full of longing, skepticism, and, ultimately, a lost innocence. NONE of this is present in the movie. So while the movie, relatively speaking, stays true to several scenes from the book, the overall tone and essence of the book are completely lost. What good is a work if you utterly destroy its message, its purpose? The answer: it's no good at all. I Am Legend and Children of Men differed from the stories of their respective books while keeping the underlying tones of each, and in this they succeeded in creating excellent pictures; meanwhile, The Golden Compass ripped out the essence of its source and turned a veritable masterpiece into a hollow, soulless piece of crap.

An Open Letter to Comcast

Dear Comcast:

Fuck you!
After driving 15 hours overnight and sleeping for all of half-an-hour, all I wanted was to get to my apartment, drink a few glasses of wine, and watch the football games. Of course when I went to turn on my TV it didn't work. Remembering how you always seem to pride yourselves on your customer support in your commercials, I called you guys up. Now, your customer service agent was very attentive and friendly, but ultimnatley he couldn't do shit for me. It seems you gave me some faulty-ass equipment. Thanks a bunch you fuckers. On one of the biggest sports nights of the year, when the Super Bowl match-up will be decided, after an hellacious car ride, I find myself without a television. What the fuck exactly am I paying your monopoly 90 bucks a month for?? I fought with your shit-ass cable box and modem for a good period of time, but eventually realized my attempts would be fruitless.
Instead of watching from the comfort of my home, I had to head out to watch the game. Granted, I did end up at a Hooter's (for the record, the Stafford, Texas Hooter's carries an excellent array of 'A' girls), but the incessant rumbling of insufferable Packers fans (the most annoying -hands down, even beating those smug Patriot loving bastards) forced me to leave the fine establishment and it's visual appeal for the drab emptiness of my apartment. Ultimately, Hooter's just made me realize the utter un-availability of every girl that works there (well, aside from the Asian chick that had a 'Britney Spears at the VMAs' ass thing going on). Thanks a lot Comcast. Maybe you should change your slogan to "screwing you over at the most inopportune moments when all you want to do is check your email or relax with some TV". Fuck you Comcast. I don't deal well with technology not doing what I want it too. and I will not forget this bullshit soon. With your exorbitant prices, I expect fucking working shit! Next time I'd go with Time Warner.... if only you hadn't bought them out. Bastard Comcast.

I'm a Chargers Fan...for now

After 2 weeks of NFL playoffs, we're down to four teams: Pats, Chargers, Giants and Packers. Last weekend was nuts, with the Giant and Chargers improbably upsetting the Cowboys and Colts respectively. TO even cried in his post-game press conference (if you haven't seen it, here it is). As an Eagles fan, nothing brought me more joy than to see that useless bastard crying over his new boyfriend Tony Romo. With the Cowboys gone, my worst nightmare, a Pats-Cowboys Super Bowl, had been averted. But who to root for now? The decision was a surprisingly easy one.
I despise the Patriots for the same reasons everyone else does. Belichick's a bona-fide douche, Brady has pretty much everything a guy could want, and Moss suddenly decides to perform this year after killing the Raiders (and my fantasy team!) last year. Plus you throw in those insufferable Boston fans and the Pats are the most unlikable team of my sports lifetime.
Next comes the Giants. While in other divisions in football, once your team has been knocked you may likely cheer for any remaining teams in your division, not so in the NFC East. If we suffer, the rest of the fuckers should suffer too. Seeing as the Eagles were the only NFC East team not to make the playoffs, I wished nothing but plague and pestilence to the Giants, Cowboys, and Redskins. With the 'Skins and 'Boys out of the way, it's time to see Eli and his piece of shit team fall back to earth and burst into flames.
This brings me to Green Bay. I like Brett Favre. I respect the way he plays the game. What football fan can honestly say they don't? But I am motherfucking sick of hearing about him. Every sportscaster is in love with the man. Can Chris Berman get it over with and blow Favre already? Then you throw in Green Bay fans. While Patriot fans are just plain cocky, Green Bay fans have this sort of condescending sense of enlightenment surrounding them. They will take down to you when the Packers are involved. Fuck. That. You cock suckers live in bum-fuck Wisconsin. Seriously? That's supposed to impress us? And take off those ridiculous looking cheese-heads. You retarded jack asses. I hope you all choke on some Bratwurst so I don't have to hear one more Packers fan go on about how great their fucking team is.
That leads me to the Chargers. Do I have any great love are vested interest in this team? No. LT and Gates are fun to watch play, but Merriman's a cheating whore and Rivers is pretty much a west coast (and hence unnoticed) version of Eli. It's a lesser of four evils thing. I simply hate the Chargers less than I hate the Pats, Packers, or Giants. So for now.... go Chargers!