An Open Letter to Comcast

Dear Comcast:

Fuck you!
After driving 15 hours overnight and sleeping for all of half-an-hour, all I wanted was to get to my apartment, drink a few glasses of wine, and watch the football games. Of course when I went to turn on my TV it didn't work. Remembering how you always seem to pride yourselves on your customer support in your commercials, I called you guys up. Now, your customer service agent was very attentive and friendly, but ultimnatley he couldn't do shit for me. It seems you gave me some faulty-ass equipment. Thanks a bunch you fuckers. On one of the biggest sports nights of the year, when the Super Bowl match-up will be decided, after an hellacious car ride, I find myself without a television. What the fuck exactly am I paying your monopoly 90 bucks a month for?? I fought with your shit-ass cable box and modem for a good period of time, but eventually realized my attempts would be fruitless.
Instead of watching from the comfort of my home, I had to head out to watch the game. Granted, I did end up at a Hooter's (for the record, the Stafford, Texas Hooter's carries an excellent array of 'A' girls), but the incessant rumbling of insufferable Packers fans (the most annoying -hands down, even beating those smug Patriot loving bastards) forced me to leave the fine establishment and it's visual appeal for the drab emptiness of my apartment. Ultimately, Hooter's just made me realize the utter un-availability of every girl that works there (well, aside from the Asian chick that had a 'Britney Spears at the VMAs' ass thing going on). Thanks a lot Comcast. Maybe you should change your slogan to "screwing you over at the most inopportune moments when all you want to do is check your email or relax with some TV". Fuck you Comcast. I don't deal well with technology not doing what I want it too. and I will not forget this bullshit soon. With your exorbitant prices, I expect fucking working shit! Next time I'd go with Time Warner.... if only you hadn't bought them out. Bastard Comcast.