Picking on Fantastic Four 2

You are the latest contender
You are the one to remember
You are the villain who sends her
Light or dark, fantastic passion
I know that you will surrender
I know that you will surrender
I want this fantastic passion
We'll have fantastic passion

You can feel my lips undress your eyes
Undress your eyes, undress your eyes
Words of love and words so leisured
Words of poisoned darts of pleasure
Died... and so you died

Franz Ferdinand - Darts of Pleasure

So the first Fantastic Four movie was horrendous. I'd say the plot was terrible, but it was more non-existent than anything. So why, you may ask, would I pay to see Fantastic Four 2 after the piece of crap that was the first one? Well, it's a superhero movie, and if that's not reason enough for you, then you really don't know me.
I can't say I was all that excited for the movie. After the first one, I had very low expectations. If anything, I was looking forward to seeing the film's depiction of Silver Surfer. Entertainment-wise, I was not disappointed. The movie moved at a fast pace (thankfully) and barely bothered with such trivial matters as character development or a smart script. There were some glaring issues, though, that I had with the movie:

Warning: SPOILER ALERT!

1) Okay, why the hell is Dr. Doom dormant inside a wooden box in Latveria? This doesn't make a lick of sense. Hey, we caught that super-villain. Let's put him in a box and send him to a castle in Latveria. And then why does the surfer suddenly wake him out of this dormant stage? This makes no sense.

2) Once Doom's awake, how does he manage to acquire cutting-edge technology that allows him to track the surfer that even the government doesn't possess?

3) Exactly what night club do the guys go to? I'm fairly positive no club in the world has that high of a female-to-male ratio.

4) So you need the Fantastic Four's help... so you send in the general that has issues with Reed? How is that smart? And why didn't they send some scientists to help him out? That whole part was stupid.

5) And then the US government decides to collaborate with Dr. Doom? Huh??

6) So when they're in Germany, why isn't the German army there?

7) Then why do they take the captured Surfer to Siberia? There's a secret government facility in, of all places, Siberia? And rather than question the alien, we're gonna inject him with shit? Alrighty then.

8) Evidently Reed Richards also found out how to break the speed of light. His hovercraft thing flies from New York to Siberia in a matter of minutes.

9) When Silver Surfer takes the Human Torch up into space, shouldn't Johnny have suffocated? And if not that, wouldn't his skull have been crushed by the pressure? And how exactly does he survive a fall from the atmosphere into the desert?? Wouldn't he have burned-up before he got anywhere near the surface??? And say he somehow survived that, the impact would have splattered him like a pancake. Preposterous.

10) The surfer takes out Galactus. So Galactus, who can eat entire fucking planets, is beaten by his own creation? BULLSHIT!

11) I love Jessca Alba. She is one of, if not the, hottest girls on the planet. But she is an awful Sue Storm. You couldn't find a blonde girl in Hollywood willing to take a part in the Fantastic Four franchise? Really??

Okay, aside from those "problems" I enjoyed the movie. I mean, it could of used more
Silver Surfer. And though the depiction of Galactus was pretty cool, it would've been better if they, you know, actually showed Galactus. Plus I've never liked Julian McMahon as Dr. Doom. I wold've preferred someone like Kevin Spacey or Kevin Bacon. But the movie had some good qualities. The Surfer was bad-ass and the initial chase between him and the Human Torch was vivid and exceedingly well-done. The cinematography was sweet and the scene of the emptied Thames was pretty dark. Compared to the first movie, this was one was oscar worthy. The thing is, I think they're almost trying too hard with these super hero movies Comic book fans are easily appeased. Give us the expected. Shit, you have scripts already printed out for you! But you know, a little logic would be nice. I'd like to see movie makers treat their audience like they have a brain. That would be awesome. We'll just call this movie the 'average four,' as opposed to the first one which should've been titled the 'completely shitty and useless four.'