Palin's a Psycho Bitch

I can't claim to be the most informed as far as politics go, but it's hard not to get involved for an election that seems to be as vital as the upcoming one. I'm not really a Democrat or a Republican. While socially I definitely lean towards the Democrats, economically I tend to be more conservative. That being said, the social changes that could possibly be enacted by the incoming presidency seem more important to me that any of the economic policies that will be put into place. Even though I wouldn't have voted for John McCain, I at least respected him. He used to be fairly progressive and always seemed to be genuine and honest (well, as honest as a politician can actually be). Then came his campaign for the coming election. Once McCain realized he couldn't get elected on crazy concepts like "ideals" he sold his soul to the lobbyists and the religious right. Honestly, McCain at least had my respect until he brought the religious right onto his side. One of my main problems with Bush (one of many) is that he destroyed any notion of separation of church and state, and now McCain wants to do the same exact thing. But the final straw, the one that turned me vehemently against the McCain campaign, was when he named as his running mate, of all people, Sarah f'ing Palin.
Like most people I'd never heard of her before, but honestly, has anyone listened to her talk? I wouldn't trust her to make me a sandwich let alone to be a heart beat away from running this country. She's an ultra-conservative, evolution denying mayor from a small Alaskan town that potentially believes that man and dinosaur, at one point, walked together. Her interview with Katie Couric is now infamous, and if you haven't seen it, it's totally worth a look. The entire interview is horribly troubling. Here's a lady that believes that 'living close to Russia' gives her foreign policy experience. As much as she got skewered by the awesome Tina Fey on SNL, the sad thing is that her parody of Palin was more or less a paraphrase of what Palin actually said. Can I just say, that is definitively NOT a good thing. When you lampoon a candidate by using her exact words that is a clear sign that said candidate should not be let into office.
I don't know how anyone could ever support Palin. She is freaking psychotic. She opposes abortion at all times (which includes cases of rape), she hates the environment, and can we just be honest that she'll set back female progress in the political field to some time in the 1950s. Now, I found Hillary Clinton to be an icy, manipulative bitch that would try and win at all costs, but never once did I doubt her intelligence; with Palin, who so far has given us nothing but rhetoric and lies, I wonder if she could get out of the tenth grade. While we're being honest, let's be clear on why she's in this position in the first place: she's female and not terrible looking. With those glasses and the business suits she has that whole stripper thing going on. Politically speaking, she's a wise choice by McCain's people: she'll get the uber-conservative votes that McCain simply could not reach, she'll get the voters who will vote for a candidate simply because she's female, and she'll reach the racist stoners that wouldn't vote for Obama cause he's black and would probably be too apathetic and lazy to get up and move from McCain. So I'll give McCain that, she does have the ability to get votes from several demographics he could not hope to reach as an older white male, but that aside, does anybody seriously expect her to be able to do even a semi-decent job if, heaven forbid, she actually reaches office? How is she different from any of the theocratic leaders in many of the countries that we consider our 'enemies'? If someone can tell me how a conservative heardliner with little-to-no experience and 18th century ideals would be good for this country I would be eternally grateful. Otherwise, when she gets elected and does nothing but pander to the social conservatives and brings us back to a 1930s era aesthetic, don't say I didn't tell you. Honestly, if you're female, and you believe in female rights and dignity, you HAVE TO vote for Obama. I'm by no means a feminist supporter (frankly, feminists piss me off), but Palin will take women's rights and place them somewhere close to John Winthrop. She's underqualified and simply unfit to have any leadership position within this country. With her fundamental views, I have a feeling that Sarah Palin would be a lot more comfortable in another country.... maybe she could try Saudi Arabia? Seems to me she'd fit in pretty well over there.... and at the very least she'd be the fuck out of America.

I've been lazy

Damn, I haven't posted in ages. Well, between settling down to Philly, looking for a job, getting a cat, and visiting people I haven't seen in what feels like forever, I've been a bit pre-occupied. But let's be honest - I spent the majority of my time watching the olympics. I will pretty much watch sports anytime, anywhere, and for me the olympics kind of are the acme of all sporting events. You had 200 some countries taking part, the majority of which knew they had no realistic shot of winning any medal at all. But still, they competed and literally gave everything they had. There's too many feel good olympic stories for me to reiterate (and besides, you've probably been enundated by them to the point of nausea). There really is just something totally cool about seeing people work all their lives for one moment and then getting to watch them finally achieve what they've been working towards. And there's nothing as absolutely gut-wrenching as watching somebody mess up and fail.
To that point, I was disappointed with the commentators NBC had at the games. They were mean-spirited and were clearly just trying to get their interview subjects to go off, thus increasing the profile of the interviewer. The worst, for me, was Andrea Kremer interviewing Alicia Sacramone after she'd fallen during her floor exercise routine. Obviously the girl felt terrible. I mean, I can't imagine how much time and effort gymnasts must put into their craft. They not only sacrifice any semblance of a normal childhood, but they purposely stunt their growth. No one can tell me that gymnasts are totally healthy. 1) Alicia felt terrible after she fell and 2) it wouldn't have mattered as the Chinese were pretty much guaranteed a gold medal at that point. So what does Andrea do? She basically rips into Alicia, blatantly trying to make her cry and pretty much implying that Alicia had 'let her team down.' Give me a fucking break. That's bullshit. The girl's only 20. And she's not a multi-millionaire NBA player. Give her a freaking break. Shit, give her a hug. She left it all out there and shit just didn't go right. But don't lambast the poor girl. Nor was that the only complaints I could levy towards the American broadcasters. When the one American hurdler got tripped up and was distraught, rather than let her have some reprieve when she was bawling, the cameras decided it'd be better tv to follow her. Classy, NBC. And when the one American sprinter ran out of his lane and was disqualified, rather than console him, whatever dumbass was interviewing him just tried to egg him on and get him to explode on tv. That's bullshit. You know any athlete is gonna be emotional after they just competed in the olympic games, how about we let them be and try act like dignified broadcasters? I don't think anyone really got a thrill out of seeing a 16 year old gymnast come close to tears.

Also, I'm not sure of the name of the one guy who was doing the commentary for gymnastics, but he was fucking obnoxious. I think it was Tim, or Tom or something like that. Whatever it is, he fucking blows.

I'm fairly positive that Waterworld is actually based off of Phelps. I made it a point to watch all of his races and I gotta say, I never realized swimming could be that exciting. That was awesome.

Congrats to the US men's basketball team. They brought back the gold to us. People kept writing that the awfully named "Redeem Team" aren't as dominant as the original Dream Team - no fucking shit. No team will ever be that good. And it's time to admit, once and for all, that the rest of the world has caught up. I mean, if Manu and Nocioni are healthy during the gold medal game, and if Pepe Sanchez and Walter Hermann decided to take part in the olympics, who's to say what could have happened? But as it is, America is once atop the basketball world, where it belongs.

The best part of the olympics has to be watching all the random sports: trampoline, handball, water polo, white water rafting, crew. I loved them all. Olympics, I will miss thee. Especially now that I have nothing to do during the day...

A Simple Goal

One day I want to go to a pro-life rally holding a sign that says "I don't believe in condoms.... I believe in hangers." I figure that would be entertaining at least...

Thoughts after Driving 1,500 Miles

I've been drivin' all night, my hand's wet on the wheel
There's a voice in my head that drives my heel
It's my baby callin', says I need you here
And it's half past four and I'm shifting gear

When she's lonely and the longing gets too much
She sends a cable comin' in from above
We don't need no phone at all
We've got a thing that's called radar love
We've got a wave in the air, radar love

The radio's playing some forgotten song
Brenda Lee's "Coming on Strong"
The road's got me hypnotized
And I'm speeding into a new sunrise

When I get lonely, and I'm sure I've had enough
She sends her comfort, comin' in from above
Don't need no radio at all
We've got a thing that's called radar love
We’ve got a line in the sky, radar love

No more speed, I'm almost there
Gotta keep cool now, gotta take care
Last car to pass, here I go
And the line of cars drove down real slow

And the radio played that forgotten song
Brenda Lee's "Coming on Strong"
And the newsman sang his same song
One more radar lover's gone

Golden Earring - Radar Love

Look people, if you're not gonna drive fast then get the fuck out of the fast lane. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever to be going 60 and slowing everybody down. Total bullshit.

Louisiana, how about fixing some of your roads? Thanks.

This is what greets you as you enter Mississippi. Um that sure as all hell isn't anything like coming home. In fact, if Mississippi reminded me of my home I'd drive straight off of a cliff.

So I ran into two Philadelphia's before reaching the real Philadelphia (ie the one in Pennsylvania). There's a Philadelphia, Mississippi, which is "most noted for the racial violence, murders, and other civil rights violations that occurred in the mid 1960s," and a Philadelphia, Tennessee. I for one take umbrage at this. Can't Philly copyright it's name or something? I don't know if I want people associating my fair city with these two places (no offense to Tennessee.... um, much offense to Mississippi). Like what if a European tourist wants to visit Philly (you may be asking yourself, 'why would he want to visit Philly in the first place?', but just bear with me here) and somehow fly's into Mississippi? That would be a tragedy of epic proportions. He would no doubt get the fuck out of there as fast as he could and he'd quickly tell his other Euro friends about the shit-hole that is Philadelphia. They'd talk amongst themselves and quickly come to the conclusion that any country that could possibly have had Philadelphia, Mississippi as it's national capital is clearly not worth visiting or supporting, and hence America's standing in the world would rapidly decling leaving us isolated on the global political landscape. So as you can see, enacting my 'One Philadelphia' policy is really for the greater good of the nation.

Call me old-fashioned, but I like to listen to the radio when I'm driving. CD's and Ipod's are good and all, but they just don't have that quality you get from listening to the radio while you're driving. There's nothing quite like that moment when you're cruising along with the radio turned on, and suddenly that one song comes on the radio. It's like coming upon a secret buried treasure. This happened to me on my little jouney from Houston. It was getting late in the night and I was tired from driving all day. I had just entered the Pennsylvania border and could feel my eyes getting heavy, when suddenly "Run to the Hills" by Iron Maiden came on. I fucking LOVE this song. I immediately turned the volume knob to an ear-damaging level and sang along as loud as I could. That one song jacked me up more than any amount of red bull could and got me through the rest of my drive. Only through the magic of radio.

5 Songs I Heard the Most on My Drive

1) - Lolli by 3 6 Mafia - What does 3 6 Mafia even mean?

2) Dangerous by Kardinal Offishal - Why must rappers butcher the English language with their horribly spelled names?

3) Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis - She sounds like a Mariah Carey rip-off to me... and I never much cared for Mariah Carey

4) Shake It - by Metro Station - Fuck, that song is WAY too catchy

5) Forever by Chris Brown - Gotta love subliminal advertising in your pop music

Yeah, I listen to shitty pop music when I drive.... I'm comfortable with that


What bothers me about that Lolli song, aside from the ridiculous lyrics that make me feel that music as an art form is totally dead, is the face that 'air' is pronounced 'errr'. When did this become a thing? Why is this a thing? So stupid

Stuff I didn't hear on the drive that surprised me: That Nelly/Fergie song (thankfully... otherwise it wouldn't have left my head), anything old school - no Tupac, or Biggie, not even any Busta... what's up with that?

Stuff I did hear that surprised me - Ice Ice Baby (how is that still being played in this day and age?!), Ray Parker Jr.'s Ghostbusters (that song is awesome!... just didn't realize they actually played it on the radio)


All in all, Houston to Philly's not a bad drive. but nothing I'd recommend. If you can fly, airport security has nothing on driving through Alabama and hoping you don't get lynched. Might I just suggest drinking your energy drinks carefully when you're going 75 mph.... Red Bull tends to sting the eye....

Some Thoughts as I Prepare for my Triumphant Return to the East Coast

Much has already been written about The Dark Knight, and there isn't much more that I could add. My only problem with the movie was ***SPOILER ALERT*** when Rachel and Harvey somehow get kidnapped.... and we don't even see the kidnapping. What the hell is that? But I love that they didn't cop out and went through with Rachel's death (it kinda needed to happen to complete Two-Face's transformation). And the movie needs to be seen for Heath Ledger's Joker. Just dark, sadistic and utterly twisted - takes the superhero villain to a whole new level. Not a bad way to leave your final mark on this planet.

As I'm leaving Houston, can I just say that there is NOTHING I will miss about this city. It's too humid, it takes ages to drive anywhere, and it's all conservative and junk. This city is urban sprawl personified. The best view of Houston will be seeing it in my rear-view mirror.

As I'm moving back to the East Coast I gotta say that I'm suddenly excited for Jimmy Fallon taking over Conan's late night spot... it'll mean that I can get to bed earlier.

Anyone that even remotely likes AC/DC, Motely Crue, or any other guitar driven bands in the same mold needs to check out Airborne. That's one kick ass band

So I started watching How I Met Your Mother, and I have a few thoughts on the show (err... well on the two episodes I've seen so far):

1) It's good to see Alyson Hannigan back on TV. Loved her on Buffy and in the American Pie movies.

2) Neil Patrick Harris just needs to be in more shit. Between HIMYM, the Harold and Kumar movies, and whatever the hell he's doing with Joss Whedon, Neil Patrick Harris may be the most entertaining man on television.

3) Why have I never heard of Cobie Smulders?? Hot damn!


How awesome does this show look! Fine, I'm a huge dork... I'm comfortable with that.

On Favre...

Okay Brett Favre, you're being a douche now. Just fucking retire already. You had a great career. You won a Super Bowl, made an ass-load of money, and rightfully earned the respect of every football fan. But it's done man. You retired (and cried like a baby at your press conference), and it's time to just stay retired. I am by no means a Packers fan (those fucking cheeseheads are the stupidest pieces of shit I have EVER seen, and the utter arrogance of Packers fans pisses me off to no extent), but Brett, you're holding your team hostage. You're making yourself bigger than the game, which cannot be allowed. They did that in the NBA in the pre-Jordan era, and we got players like Latrell Sprewell running amok. Not to go too far on a tangent, but FIFA's doing the same damned thing over in Europe with Christiano Ronaldo as the main culprit. FIFA's asinine president comes out and says that soccer players are basically being treated as 'slaves' and that players should be sent to another team if that is their desire. Sooo basically he's putting the player above the team. What a dumb fuck. If he's allowed to have his say, soccer salaries will rise uncontrollably as every player fights for what he believes is 'his right' to the point where owning a team will no longer be profitable. Then the bubble will burst, and players, owners and fans all will be screwed. Come on Blatter, use some common sense. If slavery entails earning 100,000 pounds a week playing for Manchester United, the world's most famous soccer club, then give me my 40 acres and a mule and sign me up.
Which brings me back to Favre. Dude, just shut the fuck up. At this point you're only hurting your reputation. No one wants you back. Outside of Wisconsin no one gives a flying fuck about you. So go back to Mississippi, do some fishing, get some meth, find some fat chicks. Whatever you want to do. But give it up already man, Your time in the spotlight is over. Got that? O-V-E-R. Over! Look, this is a society where we coddle our athletes. You do coke in the real world and you get sent to jail. You do coke in the sports world and you serve a 2 year ban. We let our athletes get away with a lot, especially if, like Favre, they have played hard and won in their careers. But the shit has reached the top of the proverbial pot. If you wanted to play, maybe you shouldn't have fucking retired. The thing is, we're sick of this two-faced bullshit. Athletes lie to our (the sports fan) faces again and again and again. Enough is enough! We're sick of this. You had close to 20 years being America's darling, but Brett, the ride's done. Time to get off. I don't want to see you on ESPN anymore. The only place I want to see you is on your Wrangler commercials (and, to be honest, you make me really want to not buy their jeans). Athletes are huge insecure babies, and it's time for them to grow the fuck up. This may not be about Favre in particular, but he's gonna be the psoter-boy for the rich, beloved, and utterly spoiled athlete that thinks they can get away with whatever they want. Well, I think America as a whole is saying a big 'fuck you!' to Favre. We don't want you back. Stay retired you god-damned attention hog. Maybe you'll serve as a model for future athletes. We'll take your shit.... but even we have limits. Pass that limit and we'll turn on you like an eagle protecting it's young. And trust me Brett, you definitely do not want to be caught robbing the nest.

Has Soccer Finally Made it in America?

I'm an unabashed soccer fan (I'm not calling it "futbol"... just deal with it). Having a lot of friends who play the sport and being a huge sports fan myself made this an inevitability. To the average American, soccer lacks the intensity, high scoring, and familiarity of football, baseball, or even basketball. Honestly, the MLS simply does not do soccer justice. But watch an EPL game, maybe Manchester United vs. Arsenal, and there's no way you won't be able to appreciate the skill and the passion involved in the match. For years people have been trying to truly "bring" soccer to America. They brought over Pele in the 70s, America hosted the World Cup in 1994, and the men's national team made an unprecedented run in the 2002 World Cup... none of which truly did anything to bring soccer into the American sports forefront.
In probably the most drastic move yet, last year the LA Galaxy brought David Beckham over to the MLS. Beckham wasn't one of the over-the-hill European players that populated MLS rosters. He was (and possibly still is) arguably the world's most famous soccer player. He was an icon the world over. Many questioned his move to MLS. Beckham was making millions playing for Real Madrid, one of the best soccer clubs in the world. And Beckham was by no means finished as a player. He still had at least a few years left playing at the highest level. So he suddenly decides to leave the soccer hot-bed that is Europe to magically make the game popular in a nation that has thus far resisted any and all of soccer's embraces? Color me skeptical.
Beckham had an ominous start in the MLS, missing the majority of the season with an injury (and thus further embedding in the minds of many Americans the misguided notion that soccer players are pussies that can't play hurt - meaning they lack what American sports fans love the most in their sports superstars... heart). Any person you talked to about soccer would say something like "well Beckham sure was a bust" or "damn soccer player can't even stay healthy." But, in effect, Beckham may have done more by being hurt than he could've by staying healthy and playing on the Galaxy. Americans were now doing something they had never done before.... they were actually talking about soccer. They could name an actual living, breathing MLS soccer player! This was unprecedented. It brings to mind the old adage: any publicity is good publicity. Whether Beckham was a bust or not is irrelevant (for the record, as far as his actual effect on the field goes, I don't think you can fairly grade him due to his pretty much missing all of last season). People were now genuinely interested in soccer. Though probably not in the way he anticipated, Beckham had gotten Americans to kinda, sorta pay attention to soccer every now and then.
But the question lingered: were they paying attention to the actual sport or were people simply intrigued by Beckham's celebrity? Well ESPN decided to find out for sure, and I don't think you can give them enough credit for finally doing what they did. The Euro Cup is played every 4 years, and after the World Cup is soccer's second biggest tournament. After the World Cup and the Olympics, it's the biggest sporting competition in the world. It's literally huge. But if you wanted to watch it in America you were pretty much out of luck... until this year. ESPN not only aired games and re-runs of the games on its channels, but they gave the tournament lots of advertising and coverage on Sportscenter. These facts were important. For Americans to truly embrace soccer, America's sports network would have to embrace it first, and ESPN did just so, for which I commend them. The Euro Cup was everywhere. Every sports fan I know was talking about it or at least had seen a little bit of it. The final was even aired on ABC! And though I missed the second half of the final game, the fact that I could watch the first half in an airport bar is impressive enough. Now, soccer definitely helped itself by having an amazingly entertaining tournament with under dogs winning, super powers falling, last minute goals, and a free-flowing game that the casual sports fan could relate to. But you have to ask yourself, do the Euros even get broadcast here if not for Beckham and his porcelain knee? Hard to say. I mean, Beckham and England didn't even play in the tournament. All we can do is really speculate. I have to think, though, that without life going all Tonya Harding on David's leg the Euros would've passed by without the vast majority of America even batting an eye. So congratulations David Beckham. You have managed to get Americans, those with the 3 second attention spans and lives that are already saturated with sports, to actually pay attention to soccer. Just like you said you would. Will this interest grow? Time will tell. But for now, bravo David. Take a bow. On second thought, maybe just take a seat.... you never know when we'll need your other knee. Hell, we gotta spark interest in national healthcare somehow, right?