Thoughts on the Grand Canyon and my weekend

Bury me softly in this womb
I give this part of me for you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers
In a tomb...in bloom

Down in a hole and I dont know if I can be saved
See my heart I decorate it like a grave
You dont understand who they
Thought I was supposed to be
Look at me now a man
Who wont let himself be

Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, losin my soul
Id like to fly,
But my wings have been so denied

Down in a hole and theyve put all
The stones in their place
Ive eaten the sun so my tongue
Has been burned of the taste
I have been guilty
Of kicking myself in the teeth
I will speak no more
Of my feelings beneath

Alice in Chains - Down in a Hole

Being only 3 and a half hours from the Grand Canyon, and having never been there, I decided to drive up there this weekend and check it out. Not too bad of a drive, if not a bit boring. There are giant dinosaur statues along Route 40 on the way up there, so at least that made it interesting. When I finally reached the canyon...

It was definitely NOT what I thought it'd be. I guess I was just expecting a cliff with a deep hole that led to the Colorado. What I saw was quite different. I never thought the GC (as I shall now call it) would be as long or as wide. It's impossible to accurately describe the immenseness and vastness of the GC, it's something that really has to be seen in person. There almost seems to be a small mountain range within the actual canyon. It was awe-inspiring to say the least.

My only complaints on the GC are the entrance fee (25 bucks!), which I guess is understandable considering the facilities they have, and the lack of day hikes. The trails are generally too long to complete in a day, so if you want to hike them to the end you gotta pack a tent and spend the night at the bottom of a basin. I wouldn't mind this if I wasn't just going for basically a day-and-a-half by myself. That kinda sucked. But regardless, they got some cool trails with awesome views. I stared into the canyon and muttered 'holy shit' under my breath on several occasions. Just utterly impressive. Ssome of the trails, though, came precariously close to the edge which was a bit un-nerving. One slip and I'm fucked.

Wanna make a killing? Go open a hotel in the GC. All the lodges in the actual park were sold-out and all the hotels right outside were practically booked solid. I ended up having to shell out $200 for a fucking room. If it's this packed during the middle of October (when it's actually pretty cold and windy by the way), I'd HATE to see what this place is like during the summer. There must be no room at all to move.

There were pretty much three demographics present at the GC:
1) Old, retired couples
2) Families with pre-teen children
3) And foreign tourists

I was surprised by the amount of foreign tourists there. I guess I never thought of the GC as this giant foreign tourist attraction. My favorite had to be the hordes of Asian tourists. They were all your stereotypical Asian tourists with cameras around their necks, flashing pictures every few seconds. I couldn't help but chuckle.

Okay, so I got pulled over on the way back (didn't get a ticket though!) and it occurred to me that every single time I've been pulled over it's been at night. Do cops just tend to pull people over more at night? Or do I just not notice them at night so I don't have a chance to stop breaking whatever law it is that I'm breaking at that moment?
I also must note that the cop was cool as hell. He easily could've given me a ticket (especially after it turned out that my license is expired or something, I should probably figure out what's up with that), but he didn't. If it was Texas rather than New Mexico, I can assure you I'd owe someone a fuck load of money right now.

So I got up early to catch the sunrise at the GC, and stayed late the night before to catch sunset, and in all honesty, they might've been a bit disappointing. Maybe I just had un-realistic expectations for what they'd look like. But coming back on 40 near sunset, I saw the best sunset I have very seen. It was incredible. The entire western part of the sky was a fiery yellow, and the eastern sky was a bright purple and pink. Never seen anything like that. Just amazing. Although maybe next time it'd be safer if I just pulled over instead of staring at the horizon through my rear-view.... But if you're ever in the southwest and you wanna see a sweet sunset, head along Route 40.

Nachos - quite possibly the world's best food

I enjoy eating. I'm not fat and I try and watch what I eat, but I do enjoy my food. I LOVE trying new and different foods. That being said, after trying a plethora of foods in my lifetime, I have to say that there is one definitive food that stands head and shoulders above the rest: Nachos.
I know what you're thinking, nachos? Let me explain.
Nachos give you everything you could ever want from a food. They're crunchy, salty, cheesy, spcy, gooey. They can have meat, guacamole, sour cream, chili - the beauty of nachos lying in the fact that you can make them anyway you want them to be. They can be simple (just chips and salsa) or as complex as you can dream. You get calcium with cheese, carbohydrates and grains from the chips, your daily dose of vegetables and vitamin c with guacamole and salsa. Is lasagna good for you like that? I don't fucking think so. Which naturally brings us to salsa. Anything that involves the ULTIMATE condiment gains instant bonus points. Plus salsa is naturally low in fat and high in anti-oxidants.
Nacho servings can be as big or small as you desire. They can be an appetizer or meal unto itself. They're good at ball games, at restaurants, on dates. You truly cannot go wrong with nachos. No other food gives you the opportunity to create your own concoction. And nachos are so simple and easy to make, it's impossible to mess them up! What other food can claim this? Just a truly awesome and complete food. Gives you everything you could want with the exception of sweetness (and all that sugar isn't really good for you anyways!). Nachos should really be its own food group. So this is my humble salute to the greatest of foods - nachos. Never have you steered me wrong when I am hungry you great satiater of appetites. When it's midnight and I need a snack, or the game's on and I need something to nervously munch on, I know you will be there for me. You tell hamburgers to 'suck it' and hot dogs to 'fuck off'. Thank you nachos... for everything.

Thoughts I had While Driving 1000 Miles from Houston to New Mexico

If you ever plan to motor west,
Travel my way take, the highway that's the best.
Get your kicks on Route sixty-six.

Well it winds from Chicago to LA
Over two-thousand miles all the way.
Get your kicks on Route sixty-six.

Now you go through St. Louie, Joplin, Missouri
And Oklahoma City looks mighty pretty.
You'll see Amarillo, Gallup, New Mexico
Flagstaff Arizona, don't forget Winona,
Kingsman, Barstow, San Bernadino

Won't you get hip to this kindly tip
When you make that California trip.
Get your kicks on route sixty-six

Nat King Cole - Route 66

Okay, driving 1000 miles sucks ass. It sucks even more when you're by yourself. Needless to say, I had a lot of time to think. And once again, thank you to whoever invented the ipod. I would have gone absolutely insane without it.

- You know you always see those shows where the family's driving down the highway and bugs splatter on their windshield? Well, that really does happen in real life. And let me just say that splattered bugs are an utter bitch to get off your windshield.

- So what's the deal with ordering Starbucks coffee in Italian or whatever the hell it is? It's small, medium and large, NOT tall, grande and venti. That's bullshit. I refuse to EVER use those terms ordering. Your company's from Seattle you damn pretentious bastards!

- New Mexico is gorgeous and is fun to drive in... for the first hour or so. But then you keep going for three to four more hours and it's flat land and Indian casinos for miles and miles and you just want to get the hell out of your damn car. Quite deceiving.

- Evidently all the cacti are in Arizona.

- I need a fucking GPS thing for my car. I get lost too damn often. It sucks

- Texas is too damned big. You can drive for 10 hours and not get all the way across the street. What the hell? Why should any state be that big?

- So I'm staying on route 66. I guess I had some sort of romanticized notion of the highway in my mind. In reality it's a complete shit-hole full of flea-bag hotels and cheap hotels that runs through the shitty parts of town.

- So I'm in Gallup, New Mexico, evidently the "Indian capital of the world". It's kind of depressing. The poverty is staggering and it's sad to see what has happened to the Native American tribes. Alcoholism is exceedingly prevalent among them. Those that want work often have to resort to casinos or to selling jewelery and artifacts to tourists. The economy of this entire region is solely based on cultural tourism. The problem with this kind of tourism is that the indigenous people of the region always get fucked over. Sad state of affairs.

- Lastly, I started watching Friday Night Lights. Good show (well, at least the first season is good, haven't seen any of the second season). The shows are all online. Watch

End of baseball

The Phillies lost yesterday. Got swept actually. They just didn't have it this post-season. And I'm sure people would expect me to be more upset (maybe I should be), but the fact of the matter is, I'm relatively calm about the loss. There are several reasons why:

1) My enthusiasm for different sports varies. I am fanatical about football. I live and die with it. And though I do enjoy baseball and was extremely excited about us getting into the playoffs, among the four major Philly sports teams the Phillies are my least favorite.

2) I had low expectations for this Phillies team. As much fun as they were to watch, they weren't built for the playoffs. They hit a lot of home runs... which means a lot of strikeouts. We don't really work counts and create runs. We SUCK at small ball. And say what you want, you need patience to survive in the post-season. Add to this the fact that our starting pitching is horribly sub-par and that we only have three relief pitchers that don't make me cringe every time they throw a pitch, and I didn't see us going all that far. Not to mention...

3) We were playing the Rockies. Undoubtedly the hottest team in the league going into the post-season. They've won like 17 of their last 18 or some shit like that. They got hot at the right time. Good for them... bad for us.

4) We were happy to just get in. 14 years without getting into the playoffs will do that for you. Should you ever be happy to 'just get in'? No. But it happens.

5) This Phillies team is young. Rollins, Hamels, Utley and Howard are just entering their primes. This was the first post-season for all four and hopefully it gave them some much needed expereince handling pressure. This will be a big off-season for the team now. We need pitching. Hamels and Kendrick are keepers. What about Moyer? Can he continue to pitch effectively in his mid-40s? What about Garcia and Eaton? Can they come back to be decent or will we add them to the ever-growing list of highly paid free agent busts? Something needs to be done to the bull pen. For the love of all that's holy, please get rid of Jose f'ing Mesa (seriously, I didn't know he was still in the league... I was fucking mortified to see him come out of the bullpen to pitch for us!!).
After pitching, what about the outfield. Burrell had arguably his best year as a pro, but do we bet on him to continue to progress or try and trade him while his value's high (this is, of course, assuming that he is tradeable with that ridiculous contract we gave him.) What do we do with Aaron Rowand? I love this guy and so does the rest of the city, but you know he's gonna be commanding a 10 mil-a-year contract after this season. It's a good free agent center field class, but Rowand is obviously better than Mike Cameron, and after the shit season Andruw Jones had, I'd say he's better than him too. Compare Rowand's numbers to Torii Hunter's. Hunter's are a little better, but Rowand's also 2 years younger. Seeing as you can probably get Rowand for a couple million cheaper, who would you rather have? This all gets complicated by the fact that we have Shane Victorino and Michael Bourn ready to play in the outfield. Something has to give. I for one hope we keep Rowand. Considering we're gonna have to give Howard his money, it's gonna be difficult.
Last of all is what to do with the manager, Charlie Manuel. He has definitely made more than his share of questionable decisions, but he did get us in the playoffs, and, more importantly, the players like him and will play hard for him. I think you have to keep him at this point rather than risk the problems that could arise with a regime change.


All in all, I am in no way disappointed with the Phils season. The playoffs could've gone better, but I didn't think we were beating any team in the AL anyways. For years I've said 'there's always next year', but for once I actually believe it.

The Phillies... and the Eagles

Nobody on the road,
nobody on the beach.
I feel it in the air,
the summers out of reach

Empty lake, empty streets,
the sun goes down alone.
I'm driving by your house
though i know that you not home...

And i can see you
you brown skin shining in the sun
you got your hair combed back
sunglasses on baby

and i can tell you
my love for you will still be strong
after the boy of summer have gone.

out on the road today
i saw a dead head sticker on a cadillac
a voice inside my head said don't look back
you can never look back

i thought i knew what love was
what did i know
those days are gone for ever
i should just let them go and...

i can see you
your brown skin shining in the sun
you know your walking real slow
smiling at everyone

i can tell you
my love for you will still be strong
after the boys of summer have gone.

Don Henley - Boys of Summer

So the Phillies improbably won the national league east after the Mets epic collapse. It's hard to explain what this means to the Phillies fan-base. While Philly is unequivocally a football town, this is mostly due to the zealot Eagles fans. Phillies fans seem to be more widespread across the city, which makes perfect sense. It's a lot more affordable to go to a baseball game than to a football game. Not to mention the fact that there are only 8 home football games per year as opposed to 80 something home baseball game. There is also the history of the Phillies. The damn team is 125 years old (give or take a few years, I don't know the exact number and I'm too lazy at the moment to look it up). In these one-hundred plus years we've won one, yes one, world series. How unbelievable is that? This year we became the first major sports franchise to lose 10,000 games. Hell, the last time we even made the playoffs was in 1993. I was fucking ten then! A history of he Phillies cannot be written without the word 'futility' being used over and over again. The Phillies have been on the cusp of the playoffs the last few years, and this was a team with a lot of exciting, likable players. Philly fans have embraced Rollins (he totally should be MVP), Utley (the best second baseman in the game), Ryan Howard and the uber hard-nosed Aaron Rowand (please, please re-sign him!). For a team that has seen so many hard times and so many overrated, overpaid, or otherwise shitty players, it was good to finally have a team we could get behind. This team has already made Philly smile simply by making the playoffs. Maybe that wouldn't be enough for a team like the Red Sox or the Yankees, but dude, we're the Phillies! We'll take what we can get. If this team manages to even get to the World Series, I promise you, Philly will be chaotic. We have very low expectations for our baseball team. But this team right now, their comeback to win the east, and the way they play the game... they're a true Philly team. Honestly, I don't really remember watching the '93 Phillies, so for me this is basically the first time I have ever seen my baseball team in the playoffs. I am giddy, as I am sure the rest of Philly is. If the Eagles win, there could be riots. If the Phillies win, the city might just turn into a week-long group hug. God I'm excited for the playoffs. Go Phils!

Aaaaand that brings me to the Eagles. After another disappointing loss, I don't know what to say. We played like complete shit. Our O-line was about as strong as a tissue. The Giants had 12 fucking sacks on us!! 6 by one guy! Which begs to ask the question, while Winston Justice (the Eagles lineman, in only his second season, that got utterly destroyed by Umenyiora) was continually being beaten, why wasn't he given extra help? Andy, you're killing me here. Between all the questionable play calls and now this, you have to ask: what's with him. Is he distracted by his kids off-season problems? Is he just losing the team? I mean, this shit is costing us games. The Eagles have their bye week this weekend; they better take it to focus and regroup. We need people to get healthy and the entire team needs to come out re-energized. This is McNabb and Reid's team, and they need to show that they still have it. Losing to divisional opponents is NOT something that we can tolerate. My faith in the birds is beginning to waver. At least I have the Phillies (God, who'd think that I would ever be saying those words??)

Why I Hate the South

I mustve dreamed a thousand dreams
Been haunted by a million screams
But I can hear the marching feet
Theyre moving into the street.

Now did you read the news today
They say the dangers gone away
But I can see the fires still alight
There burning into the night.

Theres too many men
Too many people
Making too many problems
And not much love to go round
Cant you see
This is a land of confusion.

Genesis - Land of Confusion

After eight months of working and traveling around the south, I feel I can definitively say that I hate this place (it has been pointed out to me that my hatred may only apply to the deep south, but that's a matter of semantics). The south is just not my place. Here is why I hate this place:

1) The Racial Divide
Say what you want, but it's still segregated as hell down here. Different races tend to have their own neighborhoods and racism still abounds. What people wouldn't dream of saying up north due to common decency is throw around here as if it means nothing at all. Just listening to people down here talk (decent people that I've worked with) is rather disheartening. If you are gay or colored or otherwise different from the average white-man down here, there is an inherent bigotry towards you that you will have to overcome

2) Welcome to... 1977?
Seriously, coming to this place is like stepping into a time machine. There aren't Starbucks at every corner (which I'm sure seems great until you're looking for a decent cup of coffee in the morning and all you find is Bubba's discount gas) and the whole region has a sort of innocence to it, like it hasn't been perverted by the hedonism of modern culture. Okay, I guess that's cool and all, but living in the past will only make you aversive to the present. Walking into a bar here and seeing confederate flags everywhere.... I mean, come the fuck on! You guy lost the war (and it's the Civil War, not the War of Northern Aggression you dumbasses) and it's time to realize you're part of this fucking country. Get rid of your damn flags and don't give me that 'it's part of our culture' bullshit. You mean a culture of racism and slavery? It's 2007, time to act like it

3) No Dunkin Donuts
Really, why aren't there any down here? No where else can you get an iced coffee and a croissant breakfast sandwich. I beg of you Dunkin Donuts, the South needs you! And while were at it, I miss Wawa too. They need to start spreading. Can we just replace McDonalds with Wawa? Is anyone against this?

4) The Environment
They don't care about the environment here. My background is in environmental science and I love nature... yeah, this bothers me a tad bit. Try and find a place to recycle here. I dare you. Hunting for sport is commonplace (let's kill animals so I can feel like a real man!), and everyone down here drives a truck. Here's my problem with trucks: economically they make no sense and they're AWFUL for the environment. Now if you need a truck to haul stuff or go off-roading, that's one thing, but how many people are actually using their trucks for that? These things eat gas like a fat man at a buffet. And you have all those Chevy and Ford ads basically telling you that trucks are the 'All-American' vehicle. What a bunch of crap. All these things do is abuse the environment and help to perpetuate American dependency on foreign oil. Every time we buy a truck we make a Saudi prince smile. Someone needs to teach the south what the word 'conservation' means.

5) Neglect of Public Health
The South is fat. Look at this report. It's disgusting. And the thing is, they don't give a fuck. They continue to eat BBQ and fried foods (why is there a need to fry pickles of all things?) and smoke like chimneys. Dude, it doesn't get nearly as cold here as it does up north. Go out and run you fat bastards! Have some self-pride.

6) They drink light beers
Pussys.

7) The Redneck Factor
The Redneck stigma is commonplace in the south, and it almost seems like people down here embrace it. You realize we make fun of you for being a 'redneck', right? Oh, and then they call us 'yankees'. Really? That's an insult? Idiots.

8) The Bible Belt
You see churches every 20 feet here. It's ridiculous. No where else have I seen dry counties and such overt conservatism. The preacher said gays are bad, so they must be. How about thinking for yourself for a fucking change? I have no problem if you wanna be religious, but don't let it control your life and don't let it determine how you're going to judge other people. Granted, if I lived in the south I might have to turn to God just so I wouldn't go insane and kill myself.

9) Learn toTalk
Y'all is NOT a word. Also, please remove the mothballs from your mouth when you speak. Thanks.

I'm ready to get out of the south. Seriously. Some people down here still want to secede? Fuck it, do it. I'm sure I'll just miss Houston sooooo much. The only good things in the south are New Orleans and some of those old settlement sites you find in Virginia (note: there are many, though that may not even consider Virginia to be in the south; note 2: I have heard good things about Nashville and Austin; note 3: I don't consider Florida to be a part of the south, it just seems like its own place; note 4: I'm not counting all the great bands that have come from the south). All the major cities are in the north. Do we even need the south for any reason? I don't. Nuke the place and be done with it. We could then teach evolution in all classrooms, have an actual intelligent president, and make some headway in saving the environment.

The Psyche of the Eagles Fan

love and hate get it wrong :: she cut me right back down to size :: sleep the day let it fade :: who was there to take your place :: no one knows never will :: mostly me mostly you :: what do you say do you do :: when it all comes down :: i don't want to come back down from this :: cloud :: taken me all this time to find out what i :: need :: and i'm doing fine now :: there is no blame only shame :: when you beg you just complain :: more i come more i try :: all police are paranoid :: so am i - so's the future :: so are you - be a creature :: what do you say do you do when it all :: comes down

Bush - Comedown

I'm a little late writing this (should've been here Tuesday) but I've been busy. After a devastating loss to send the Eagles to 0-2, I was in a bad place. So was every other Eagles fan you know. Eagles fans are a peculiar sort that are easily identifiable. They are a select contingent no sane person would want to be part of (likely due to the fact that being an Eagles fan is in itself a case for being placed in a mental institution).
Eagles fans are cynical. We expect Murphy's Law to strike our football team at any instant. And the problem is that every loss leads us to a pit of utmost despair. It will literally ruin our day and make us depressed. When the birds lose, give any Eagles fan you know a hug. They will need it. On the other side, every win is pure, unadulterated elation. It is the happiest moment of our lives, making everything we've invested in the team worthwhile.
Eagles fans are an emotional sort. We wear our feelings on our sleeves... and yell them with our mouths. We will bitch and moan after a loss, and won't shut up about what the Eagles did well after a win. Drunken E-A-G-L-E-S will be heard echoing throughout Philadelphia bars after every victory. Rude? Perhaps. Boorish? Probably. Annoying? Can't really argue that. But so goes the Eagles fan.
Eagles fans care about their players; we will give back to them what they give to us. We are also unforgiving. Insult us, show us you have no heart - and we will be on you like white on rice. Eagles fans are bitter. We are repressed. All we want is to cheer as our team parades down Broad Street, but we are rarely given anything to cheer about. Eagles fans are blue collar, just like this city. We want our team the same way. They better play hard and hit hard. Play hurt and you've earned yourself a loyal fan base for the rest of your life.
The thing about the Eagles fan is they're truly a complicated being. At once passionate, loyal, supportive, jubilant... in the next instant ready to jump off a bridge if our receivers don't stop dropping the fucking ball. Our week is determined by how the birds perform. It is a sad state of affairs, and we are a sad people. We look for a glimmer of hope every year. Talk ourselves into thinking that salvation has finally arrived and that we finally reach the promised land. But with every loss that shining hope gets dimmer and dimmer til there is nothing left. It takes months for the hope to re-brighten, only for the entire process to start all over again. This is the life we live. A constant circle of hope leading to pessimism leading to more hope. Eagles fans are evidently masochistic. We know what we are doing to ourselves, yet we continue. One day the Eagles will be the death of me, undoubtedly. My psyche is fucked. The loss on Monday night to the Redskins just took too much out of me. I could've sworn this was going to be our year. Now I have nothing. I am a sad, empty shell of a being. At least, that is, until we win this weekend. My glimmer of hope hasn't completely faded yet.