Nachos - quite possibly the world's best food

I enjoy eating. I'm not fat and I try and watch what I eat, but I do enjoy my food. I LOVE trying new and different foods. That being said, after trying a plethora of foods in my lifetime, I have to say that there is one definitive food that stands head and shoulders above the rest: Nachos.
I know what you're thinking, nachos? Let me explain.
Nachos give you everything you could ever want from a food. They're crunchy, salty, cheesy, spcy, gooey. They can have meat, guacamole, sour cream, chili - the beauty of nachos lying in the fact that you can make them anyway you want them to be. They can be simple (just chips and salsa) or as complex as you can dream. You get calcium with cheese, carbohydrates and grains from the chips, your daily dose of vegetables and vitamin c with guacamole and salsa. Is lasagna good for you like that? I don't fucking think so. Which naturally brings us to salsa. Anything that involves the ULTIMATE condiment gains instant bonus points. Plus salsa is naturally low in fat and high in anti-oxidants.
Nacho servings can be as big or small as you desire. They can be an appetizer or meal unto itself. They're good at ball games, at restaurants, on dates. You truly cannot go wrong with nachos. No other food gives you the opportunity to create your own concoction. And nachos are so simple and easy to make, it's impossible to mess them up! What other food can claim this? Just a truly awesome and complete food. Gives you everything you could want with the exception of sweetness (and all that sugar isn't really good for you anyways!). Nachos should really be its own food group. So this is my humble salute to the greatest of foods - nachos. Never have you steered me wrong when I am hungry you great satiater of appetites. When it's midnight and I need a snack, or the game's on and I need something to nervously munch on, I know you will be there for me. You tell hamburgers to 'suck it' and hot dogs to 'fuck off'. Thank you nachos... for everything.