The only way to fly

now the time has come to leave you
one more time now let me kiss you
close your eyes and i'll be on my way
dream about the days to come
when i won't have to leave alone
about the times that i won't have to say....

oh kiss me and smile for me
tell me that you'll wait for me
hold me like you'll never let me
cause i'm leavin on a jet plane
don't know when i'll be back again
oh babe i hate to go 

Peter, Paul and Mary - Leaving on a Jet Plane

So i got to fly first class yesterday. And let me just say, it is TOTALLY FUCKING WORTH IT. Everything you've ever thought about first class is true. There's leg room, arm room, and, of course, free liquor. Yes... free liquor!! Flying first class is just awesome. You board first, you disembark first. You get real food. And all I could think of while I ws flying was the Seinfeld episode where Jerry is eating an ice cream sundae in first class while Elaine toils in economy. And sure enough, what did I get for dessert? That's right...an ice cream sundae! (note: it was actually a pretty crappy sundae, just ice cream with Hershey's syrup, but it was the fact that I actually got a sundae that mattered.) But though all the perks and the pampering are pretty fucking sweet, they're not what makes flying first class so amazing. What makes first class so damned sweet is the false sense of superiority you are given over pretty much everyone else flying on the plane.
This is a great feeling. Whether we admit it or not, we all love the feeling of entitlement. And there is nothing quite like being in first class. We enter the plane, sit in our comfortable seats, and are given a cup of water. As we sip our ice cold drink, we sit calmly as the economy passengers stagger in, eye-fucking our water, green with envy at our ginormous, cusihoned seats. We watch them as a lion watches a herd of buffalo walking towards a watering hole, only we know that the hole has run dry.
Are we better than these people, simply because we're not packed like sardines? Hell no. Richer? Maybe. Or perhaps just lucky for once, like me. But regardless, as we sit in comfort while others sit cramped and sweaty, we cannot help but feel a little smug. Feel like maybe, just maybe, we had finally made it. Had finally become somebody. It's a feeling of utter contentment. And boy what a feeling it is. I'm sure I sound conceited, and stuck-up, and just like all the rich, preppy fuckers that pissed me off for four years of college; but for once, I say fuck it. I'm entitled to feeling better than everyone else for once. Everyone is. If I ever have enough money, I will have no qualms about flying first class all the time. It really made a long day's journey not too shabby. And as my luggage came out first, and I picked it up and walked away while all the other chumps stood impatiently waiting for their bags, I couldn't help but crack a smug, little smile.