An Irrational Hatred

Cheat the odds that made you
Brave to try to gamble at times
Well I feel like dirty laundry
Sending sickness on down the line
Tell you why

cause Im jealous, jealous again
Thought it time I let you in
Yeah, Im jealous, jealous again

Black Crowes - "Jealous Again"

Girls hate Jennifer Love Hewitt. Every girl. Without fail. And it's not a common dislke that one may have for an annoying actor or comedian. No, this is a deep-rooted hatred. Ask any girl what she thinks of JLH and you will receive replies such as "she's NOT pretty", "she can't act", or "she's a dirty whore and deserves to die" (hmm, maybe that's just my friends). I can't comprehend it. It seems as if women everywhere are born with a gene that instills them with a hatred for Ms. Hewitt. It's quite unfathomable. Is she an exceptional actress? No, not in any sense of the word actress. Is she better than many other actresses out there, though? Fuck yeah! And c'mon, you're telling me she's really that annoying? No way in hell. What about Jennifer Lopez (a diva and total fraud)? Or the late Anna Nicole Smith (a disgrace to America)? Or Jessica Simpson (an idot with large brests)? Or Drew Barrymore (untalented, unpretty and annoying as balls)!
Could it possibly be jealousy? I say yes....partly. It would prove difficult to find an American male between the ages of 18-40 that does not have a soft-spot for Love Hewitt. And girls, who display jealousy regardless of the circumstances, are clearly bothered by this. But this JLH jealousy, which morphs into hatred sometime in the female's life, goes beyond common, petty jealousy. What is it about Love that just sets girls off? Clearly this must be researched. Use the human genome project and isolate the cause of FLHH (Female Love Hewitt Hatred). It is unfair and unfounded. And no matter how many girls I ask, I still have not received a satisfactory answer. Perhaps we can create an inoculation of some sorts to stop FLHH. Or perhaps some sort of psychological treatment is necessary. Whatever the case, it is time that this hatred for Jennifer Love Hewitt ceased. She simply does not deserve it. And if you really need someone to hate, why not look in the mirror? For every heart that is full of hatred receives the same in return. And if you still need to hate... have you thought about John Travolta?