Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The Travesty that was X-Men 3

I'm an X-men fanatic. Grew up on the toys, the comic books and the amazing Saturday morning cartoon (with one of the msot kick-ass theme songs ever!) So when they first addressed that they were making X-men movies I was absolutely giddy with excitement. I had high expectations, and the first two movies did not disappoint. X-men was an excellent movie, while X-men 2 is, in my opinion, the best super hero movie ever made. It had everything you coudl want: actions, a good cript and plot, interesting characters that were actually developed, good acting, and a myriad of ridiculously attractive women. So I had equally high expectations for X-men 3, which was advertised as the final installment of the trilogy. So on a bright, sunny Summer afternoon me and a bunch of friends made oru way down to the theater to see the movie. Well, if you've seen the movie already, you know it was a TOTAL PIECE OF MONKEY SHIT!!
What exactly were the problems with the movie? First off, losing director Bryan Singer, who directed the first two movies, and replacing him with Brett Ratner failed miserably. Ratner, who is best known for Rush Hour 2, simply could not continue with Singer's vision in the other two movies. The character development was bad and the movie was turned into another Hollywood explosion-fest, the lack of which is one of the reasons why the other two movies were so good.
Secondly, the whole premise of the movie was fucking terrible. With super-hero movie a good villain is a must. Ian McKellan and Brian Cox in the firt two movies, respectively, were absolutely fantastic. Even looking at the Spiderman movies, it's hard to top Willem Dafoe and Alfred Molina as your villains. In X-3, however, there was no clear cut villain, but rather the movie was based upon some sort of cure that took away mutant powers. What a shit idea. Just a total cop-out. I mean,, you jsut put in sentinels as the villains, and your movie is set (they had one in the opening scene of the movie only for it to be a computer generation... what a fucking tease!!) Instead the villain is a frickin cure. Any true X-men fan was outraged at this (as every studio exec should also be as this would seem to destroy any oportunity to put out a fourth movie).
And the cure just led to more and more shit. Mystique got turned "normal", Rogue chose to become so, and Magneto was made so by the X-men. What the fuck? Th X-men would NEVER purposely take away Magneto's power and there's no way in hell Rogue would voluntarily give up her powers. She's made of sterner stuff than that. Then, pen-ultimately, it seems that the cure does not even work. Fantastic. Throw in the fact that Cyclops, Jean Grey, and Professor X all appear to die (only for it to appear that Professor X is actually alive, which means that Jean could also be, not to mention the fact that we never technically saw Cyclops' body). and this movie was just totaly bullshit. You can't kill off the fucking X-men! I hate Cyclops as much as the next person, but the whiny bitch needs to live. They wasted the entire Dark Phoenix saga, and failed to use either Angel or Colossus to the fullest capabilities. For some reason Nightcrawler was absen from the movie. And why the fuck is Gambit not in the movie? Just get Johnny Depp to play Jack fucking Sparrow with a Cajun accent!! Grrrrr. All I can say is Spiderman 3 better not follow down the same path of shittiness. Honestly, if they have Wolverine jsut wake up at the start of the next movie, and it turns out that X-3 was just one of his nightmares, I will totally be fine with that. Please get rid of Brett Ratner, get a new writer, and save what would have been the most memorable movie trilogy of my lifetime.

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