Selling Out - Evolution

I still don't know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
David Bowie - Changes

Change is constant. If there is one basic tenet that I always stand by, it is that. Change happens in nature and in our constant day-to-day lives. Change also occurs within music. More specifically, band will change, or evolve, over thelife of that band. It is inevitable. Music is ultimately a by-product of the conditions that surrounded its creation. The weather, politics, health, how the artist is feeling - all of this goes into every piece of music that you hear (well, every true piece of music that is actually made with heart and emotion, as opposed to the unoriginal, factory spewed music that is commonplace on today's airwaves, but I digress). Secondly, no artist wants to be seen as a one trick pony, and thus musicians will deliberately attempt to change their musical leanings so as not to be making the same album over again. Hence, as bands age and evolve, so does their music.
There is a distinct difference between a band selling-out and a and simply evolving. Musical evolution is natural, not done for money, and goes with the flow of the band. That is to say, the music does not seem forced or unnatural. My favorite example of a band evolving, so to speak, ould have to be the Chili Peppers. A listen to their early records provides one with a funky, juvenile sound. Their newer albums are full of softer, melodic songs with thoughtful, well-written lyrics. A listen to their self-titled 1984 album, versus 2006's Stadium Arcadium, leads one to think that there is no way that one band could have made both of these albums. But certain aspects of the Peppers are ever-present in all their albums. Flea's bass ensures the presence of a funky undertone no matter the song. And there is always the few new songs that find the Peppers in all-out thrash mode, reverting to their earlier days, albeit in a less chaotic fashion.
The point is, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, like Metallica and Aerosmith, have changed from what they were. But the Pepers change has been a genuine one that has endeared original fans while making new ones. Though their music has changed, the Peppers have never lost that kick-your-ass attitude that made them who they were. Sure, they may not be drug using party animals anymore, but family life and kids have a way of stopping that. I have a hard time determining whether I prefer old Peppers or their newer stuff. Though I love the utter funkiness and fun atmosphere of their old songs, the musicianship and emotional appeal of their newer songs has an appeal all its own. And therein lies the beauty of musical evolution, a band can completely change their music without changing who they are. And for the fan, that is often as, if not more, important than the music itself. The Chili Peppers were able to radically transform their music, but they still kept their integrity and managed not to slap their fans in the face. That is something that bands such as Metallica and Aerosmith may never understand.

Selling Out - The All Mighty Dollar

'Cause you're gonna go to the record store
You're gonna give'em all your money
Radio plays what they want you to hear
They tell me it's cool but I just don't believe it...
Sell out, with me oh yea, sell out, with me tonight
Record company's gonna give me lots of money
And everything's gonna be all right
Reel Big Fish - "Sell Out"

So what is selling out? To me, a band sells out when they change their music/image in order to make more money by appealing to a wider audience. Of course, many can make the argument "well what's wrong with trying to make more money?" Of course, there's nothing wrong with making more money. I'm as capitalistic as the next guy. But you shouldn't have to sell your integrity in order to make money. If you're going into a non-pop music, you cannot be doing it for the money. The vast majority of bands are NOT going to make it big. If you're entering the music scene it should be due to your passion to make good music. A band doing it 'just for the money' will be devoid of interest and excitement and will decidedly suck ass.
Let's get to some examples of a band selling-out. The example that I will always bring up is Metallica. Going from And Justice for All in 1989, to their self-titled album in 1991, there is a huge contrast not only in musical stylings but in the overall image of the band. They went from bad-ass metal gods to clean cut hard-rockers (at best). The change is truly dramatic. Yeah, one could say they were just changing their look and music and that it may have been natural musical evolution (which I'll get to later), but I'd have to disagree. By 1991 Gun n' Roses and grunge had risen to prominence and the musical landscape was changing. Metallica chose to make an album that would have mass appeal and risk alienating their core fans (which it undoubtedly did) rather than sticking to what they know best. Though their self-titled album was a very good album, it paled in comparison to the raw aggression of Master of Puppets and the aforementioned And Justice for All. They changed their music to remain relevant and sell albums in a new musical landscape. Does it make sense from an economic perspective? Fuck yeah. But as a fan to me, that is the definition of selling out.
Another band that, to me, has sold out is Aerosmith. They went from a drugged-out, blues riff based kick ass band to a sober, soft rock piece of crap. Aerosmith are one of the most important American abnds of all time and their influence cannot be understated. I still hold them in reverence. But at first listening to "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing"caused me to lose a shit-load of respect for Aerosmith. This was a band that, admittedly, had not done anything relevant in the 90s and needed something to get back into the public eye. Wat they could have used was to get back on the wagon. Instead they released one of the sappiest, crappiest songs ever made. The movie was god-awful and the song goes right up there with Celine Dion's annoying piece of shit from Titanic. Tell me they made this song for any reason other to sell records, and I shall call you a liar. It's a sad note of popula music that despite the numerous hit songs Aerosmith has had, "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" was their first number one hit. Do I still hold respect for both Aerosmith and Metalica? Damn straight. Despite whatever they make now, their good music stands the test of time. But it's hard for me to respect some of the shit both of these bands are spewing forth right now. Bands DO change. That's for damn sure. And bands truly can change without disgracing their past and while still making good music. More on 'musical evolution' tomorrow.

An Irrational Hatred

Cheat the odds that made you
Brave to try to gamble at times
Well I feel like dirty laundry
Sending sickness on down the line
Tell you why

cause Im jealous, jealous again
Thought it time I let you in
Yeah, Im jealous, jealous again

Black Crowes - "Jealous Again"

Girls hate Jennifer Love Hewitt. Every girl. Without fail. And it's not a common dislke that one may have for an annoying actor or comedian. No, this is a deep-rooted hatred. Ask any girl what she thinks of JLH and you will receive replies such as "she's NOT pretty", "she can't act", or "she's a dirty whore and deserves to die" (hmm, maybe that's just my friends). I can't comprehend it. It seems as if women everywhere are born with a gene that instills them with a hatred for Ms. Hewitt. It's quite unfathomable. Is she an exceptional actress? No, not in any sense of the word actress. Is she better than many other actresses out there, though? Fuck yeah! And c'mon, you're telling me she's really that annoying? No way in hell. What about Jennifer Lopez (a diva and total fraud)? Or the late Anna Nicole Smith (a disgrace to America)? Or Jessica Simpson (an idot with large brests)? Or Drew Barrymore (untalented, unpretty and annoying as balls)!
Could it possibly be jealousy? I say yes....partly. It would prove difficult to find an American male between the ages of 18-40 that does not have a soft-spot for Love Hewitt. And girls, who display jealousy regardless of the circumstances, are clearly bothered by this. But this JLH jealousy, which morphs into hatred sometime in the female's life, goes beyond common, petty jealousy. What is it about Love that just sets girls off? Clearly this must be researched. Use the human genome project and isolate the cause of FLHH (Female Love Hewitt Hatred). It is unfair and unfounded. And no matter how many girls I ask, I still have not received a satisfactory answer. Perhaps we can create an inoculation of some sorts to stop FLHH. Or perhaps some sort of psychological treatment is necessary. Whatever the case, it is time that this hatred for Jennifer Love Hewitt ceased. She simply does not deserve it. And if you really need someone to hate, why not look in the mirror? For every heart that is full of hatred receives the same in return. And if you still need to hate... have you thought about John Travolta?

The Big Easy

Oh mother tell your children
Not to do what I have done
Spend your lives in sin and misery
In the House of the Rising Sun

Well, I got one foot on the platform
The other foot on the train
I'm goin' back to New Orleans
To wear that ball and chain

Well, there is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy
And God I know I'm one
The Animals - "House of the Rising Sun"

So after visiting New Orleans, all I can say is WOW. Just pure, unadulterated, unabashed hedonism at its finest. Shit, maybe it's not even the entire city of New Orleans. Maybe it's just the French Quarter. And within the French Quarter lies a place of ultimate debauchery: Bourbon Street. Everyone's heard of Bourbon Street. It's up there with Wall Street, Sunset Boulevard, and Pennsylvania Avenue as one of the most famous streets in America. But words cannot really do it justice. Once one steps onto Bourbon Street they are immediately bombarded with stimuli meant to cloud judgment and unshackle one from all personal inhibitions. Alcohol and sex reign supreme. This is the place for the id to go absolutely and completely wild. Not only are open beverage containers and public nudity legal, they seem to be encouraged. The bars are numerous and packed with hot, young girls in skimpy outfits eager to serve test-tube shots and dance with the patrons. And the myriad amount of police patrolling the street seem to only add to the festivities by creating an aura of safety amidst all the revelry.
Aside from Bourbon Street, there is a certain atmosphere in New Orleans unlike any place else I have been. There isn't an artificial air surrounding the place, like in Jamaica or Cancun. But the city and its citizens just have a vibe to it that force people to let-the-fuck-loose. It's truly hard to explain. From the various street performers and musicians in Jackson Square, to the bars that seem to be found every ten feet, the city seems to just put one at ease. 'If you're not going to party, get the hell out of our city!'
When one goes there, though, it is impossible to view the city without thinking of Katrina. While the tourist-y section remains vibrant, the city's poor are still struggling to cope with the realities of the disaster that hit their amazing city. All the daiquiris, cigars and lap dances in the world will not make you forget this. By all means, go to New Orleans. Now more than ever this is a city that deserves our appreciation. No other city in America can combine the Spanish, French, Caribbean and African cultures that combine to give New Orleans a uniqueness all its own. Truly a city like no other. A city full of music and a zest for for life. A city that is truly a melting pot. A city that is still a shadow of its former self. A city where a fancy oyster bar can sit merely a minute's walk from a strip club, and nothing can seem more normal. You gotta love New Orleans.

The Asshole of America

Born On The Bayou.
Wish I was back on the Bayou.
Rollin' with some Cajun Queen.
Wishin' I were a fast freight train,
Just a chooglin' on down to New Orleans.

Creedence Clearwater Revival - "Born on the Bayou"

Louisiana is a shit-hole. Like honestly, what a crap-fest. Pretty much Jersey placed in a swamp. And I thought Texas accents were bad... I can't even understand some of the people here! The state is just running wild with rednecks. All the redneck stereotypes you see on TV... yup, they're all true. They drive pick-ups, talk with awful grammar, and are genuinely ignorant of the world. But you know what, you kinda got to take it all in stride. From the bar that used to be an old gas station, to our hotel clerk that keeps a baby flying squirrel in her bra, when I take a step back I can't help but laugh. Their ignorance gives them a good-natured view on the world where everyone is constantly saying "hello" and asking "how was your day?" to each other Think you'll find that kind of care-free attitude in New York or Philly? Hell no! The weight of the world has, for all intensive purposes, made us bitter and condescending. I come to Louisiana and see it was a shit-hole instead of for what it has to offer me. Nice people, amazing food (gumbo, po boys, crawfish, etc.), drive-thru drink places. How can you beat that? And yeah, the forest may be littered with heaps of garbage (seriously, why would you drive out to a forest to throw out your fridge instead of jsut ptting it on the curb like a normal person?), but it's still a gorgeous piece of Earth. And yeah, many look at the locals here and consider them ignorant cause they'd rather ATVing in a full camouflage uniform thn read a book, but to each is own. Judge not lest thee be judged thyself. Sure I can quote Shakespeare, but you ask me to fix a car and I have nothing. Will I continue to laugh at the perceived craziness of this state and mock it's residents? Fuck yeah, that's what I do. But the next time I try and drive trough a mud-hole and get stuck, or take forever trying to eat some "crawfish," I'm pretty sure I'll be the one being laughed at.

The Travesty that was X-Men 3

I'm an X-men fanatic. Grew up on the toys, the comic books and the amazing Saturday morning cartoon (with one of the msot kick-ass theme songs ever!) So when they first addressed that they were making X-men movies I was absolutely giddy with excitement. I had high expectations, and the first two movies did not disappoint. X-men was an excellent movie, while X-men 2 is, in my opinion, the best super hero movie ever made. It had everything you coudl want: actions, a good cript and plot, interesting characters that were actually developed, good acting, and a myriad of ridiculously attractive women. So I had equally high expectations for X-men 3, which was advertised as the final installment of the trilogy. So on a bright, sunny Summer afternoon me and a bunch of friends made oru way down to the theater to see the movie. Well, if you've seen the movie already, you know it was a TOTAL PIECE OF MONKEY SHIT!!
What exactly were the problems with the movie? First off, losing director Bryan Singer, who directed the first two movies, and replacing him with Brett Ratner failed miserably. Ratner, who is best known for Rush Hour 2, simply could not continue with Singer's vision in the other two movies. The character development was bad and the movie was turned into another Hollywood explosion-fest, the lack of which is one of the reasons why the other two movies were so good.
Secondly, the whole premise of the movie was fucking terrible. With super-hero movie a good villain is a must. Ian McKellan and Brian Cox in the firt two movies, respectively, were absolutely fantastic. Even looking at the Spiderman movies, it's hard to top Willem Dafoe and Alfred Molina as your villains. In X-3, however, there was no clear cut villain, but rather the movie was based upon some sort of cure that took away mutant powers. What a shit idea. Just a total cop-out. I mean,, you jsut put in sentinels as the villains, and your movie is set (they had one in the opening scene of the movie only for it to be a computer generation... what a fucking tease!!) Instead the villain is a frickin cure. Any true X-men fan was outraged at this (as every studio exec should also be as this would seem to destroy any oportunity to put out a fourth movie).
And the cure just led to more and more shit. Mystique got turned "normal", Rogue chose to become so, and Magneto was made so by the X-men. What the fuck? Th X-men would NEVER purposely take away Magneto's power and there's no way in hell Rogue would voluntarily give up her powers. She's made of sterner stuff than that. Then, pen-ultimately, it seems that the cure does not even work. Fantastic. Throw in the fact that Cyclops, Jean Grey, and Professor X all appear to die (only for it to appear that Professor X is actually alive, which means that Jean could also be, not to mention the fact that we never technically saw Cyclops' body). and this movie was just totaly bullshit. You can't kill off the fucking X-men! I hate Cyclops as much as the next person, but the whiny bitch needs to live. They wasted the entire Dark Phoenix saga, and failed to use either Angel or Colossus to the fullest capabilities. For some reason Nightcrawler was absen from the movie. And why the fuck is Gambit not in the movie? Just get Johnny Depp to play Jack fucking Sparrow with a Cajun accent!! Grrrrr. All I can say is Spiderman 3 better not follow down the same path of shittiness. Honestly, if they have Wolverine jsut wake up at the start of the next movie, and it turns out that X-3 was just one of his nightmares, I will totally be fine with that. Please get rid of Brett Ratner, get a new writer, and save what would have been the most memorable movie trilogy of my lifetime.

Driving in Texas

Hey man you know I'm really okay
The gun in my hand will tell you the same
But when I'm in my car
Don't give me no crap
Cause the slightest thing and I just might snap

When I go driving I stay in my lane
But getting cut off it makes me insane
I open the glove box
Reach inside
I'm gonna wreck this fucker's ride

The Offspring - "Bad Habit"

So after living in Texas I can say with conviction that the residents of this state have NO FUCKING CLUE HOW TO DRIVE! Never have I been so enraged. Now, let me say that I am not the calmest of drivers. I get annoyed at other driver when I'm driving (never to a violent exten, but if you're in the car with me your ears will be subjected to a slew of curse words). Driving in Philly, and anywhere on the East Coast for that matter, I am an aggressive driver. Hell, if you've want to survive on the Skhuylkill you have to be aggressive. You drive fast and you don't let people into your lanes. But as aggressive as you drive, you're still a good driver.
Texans, o nthe other hand, are simply not aggressive drivers. Just moving here I always find myself in the wrong lane and then needing to quickly get into another lane. In Philly, I would've been fucked, no way in hell is anyone gonna let me go. But here, people are more than ready to allw me into their lane. Hmm people being nice on the road.... diferent, but can't really complain. But that's where the good parts about driving in Texas end. My pet peeve is people not using their damn blinkers. I mean c'mon, it takes a millisecond to flick the handle. And it's done to prevent accidents. It's just common fucking sense. But apparently, no one in Texas believes in using their blinkers. I swear maybe 1 out of 10 drivers here will use their blinkers when changing lanes. I've been happily driving in my lane when out of nwhere, with no indication, some jackass will enter my lane forcing me to slam on the brakes. This angers me to no extent. Throw in the fact that Texans think it's fine to continue to drive slow in the fast lane when there's a line a mile long behind you, and that they have no qualms about riding on the shoulder and then expecting you to allow them into your lane, and it's only a matter of time before I go ape shit on one of these damned rednecks. Don't mess with Texas my ass. I will mess with the bastards till they learn how to drive a god-damned automobile.