Some Random Musings

Weeds is one of the many shows I watch. The show's funny, subversive, and has the un-reasonably attractive Mary-Louise Parker in the lead role. Not only is she a very adept actress, but she re-defines the term MILF. It seems that every season she has gotten more and more naked with the show always teasing us with a topless shot. But alas, she was always covered...until now.
This season, though, it finally happened....we got a topless shot of Mary-Louise Parker! Words cannot describe the awesomeness of this moment. After the years of wait it was totally worth it. To say it was earth shattering and life altering is a massive understatement. I once again have faith in god. So thank you Weeds. And thank you Mary-Louise Parker. You are a bastion of hotness in an otherwise dark world.

So this story about the Eagles firing an employee who expressed his anger at the team getting rid of Brian Dawkins on his facebook page has become national news. Suffice it to say, this shows just how out-of-touch the birds are with their fan base. This is a blue-collar, fairly liberal town. We like our athletes to be frank, honest, and emotional, which it seems is exactly what this fan was doing. He was only saying the same thing that every other Eagles fan was thinking. Now I get that you can't openly disparage your employer, but isn't this a little too far? Maybe just give the guy a warning, especially in an economy like this one. But even if we forget the personal harm this does to the employee, do the Eagles not think about what they do? I mean seriously guys, how hard would it be to hire a good public relations guy? You get rid of Dawkins and Tra Thomas among a ton of other free agents, you haven't really spent any money in free agency (when we still need a god damned wide receiver!!) and now you fire an employee for slightly criticizing the team? Give me a fucking break. What a joke of an organization. This makes the team, and the city by association, look like crap. You've always had the stigma among fans that you're a fairly cold-hearted organization that won't re-sign aging players, no matter how much they've given to the team. And okay, you may have been right in many of the circumstances (Hugh Douglas, Troy Vincent, Bobby Taylor), but at some point don't you have to cater to the fans at least somewhat? Does your opinion in the eyes of the fanbase, the people who give you money, seriosuly mean that little? Eagles management have managed to turn a beloved franchise into the big, bad, callous corporation. No one likes the big, bad, callous corporation, especially not in a town like Philadelphia. It would be like being in a casino and cheering for the dealer to demolish some poor guy playing blackjack. The fans are not happy. The Eagles want my money? Well they better fucking earn it. I was planning on buying myself a Dawkins jersey before the season started....guess I can hold off on that. At some point even the greatest of kings has to placate the masses if he wants to avoid a rebellion. Well, the townsfolk are carrying torches and crossing the draw-bridge. Might be time for the Eagles to take a step back and think about what their next move is gonna be. Apologizing to this guy and giving him his job back would be a good start.

That brings me to my next point: this guy got fired due to his status on facebook. How ridiculous is that? Is privacy as we know it now dead? And the other things that bothers me, what happened to not tattling on people? I highly doubt that Jeff Lurie, Andy Reid or someone high up on the Eagles totem pole saw his status. That means some lowly, jack-ass fuck in middle management saw it, told his supervisor, and then they decided to fire the poor guy. Really? You couldn't keep your fucking mouth shut? Or if you're his boss you can't politely tell him to change his facebook status? When did the Eagles become the communist party? You say one damning thing and 'poof', you're gone, never to be seen again. I love the internet. It's an un-filtered way for people to express their opinions. And though I may not agree with most of what's on the web, I respect people's rights to say what they want. This whole thing will hopefully bring to light a problem we will eventually have to face as a society: how do you blend someone's internet persona with reality? There has to be a cut off. Once we start monitoring and censoring the internet, then the greatest equalizer of all time has suddenly become null and void. And that would be a damned shame.

The economy sucks right now. We all know this and many have been affected (I've had a shit time finding a job). But maybe one good thing has come out of this: fast food places are doing anything they can to sell food. I hardly eat fast food, but every now and then I get a craving for something that's truly awful for me, and that artery clogging awfulness has now become cheaper. Taco Bell has 3 different types of nachos all for under $1, the fantastic Sonic has a dollar menu, and KFC's jumped into the fray with their own value menu. This is great news for fast food enthusiasts (um, not so much for nutritionists). It'll still kill you...but at least you can now die for cheap!

Facebook's Jumped the Shark

I remember when facebook first came out. It was cool being able to connect to high school friends that went to different schools, and made it easy to keep tabs on everyone you were currently in school with. Who didn't like finding a new 'friend request' in their inbox (be honest)? Just made it so much simpler to keep in touch. Then, they let high school kids in. Pretty soon, everybody and their mothers (literally) was on facebook. It got to the point where you had to block your pictures so the more tech-savvy of adults wouldn't be going around telling tales of your exploits to your parents and other relatives. This was annoying as fuck. What had started as a tiny little community for college kids had expanded to include, well, everybody. I'm sure this made facbook an ass load of money, but it destroyed the novelty and exclusivity of the whole thing.
Now facebook's got even more annoying. We keep getting these '25 random things posts'. How did this start? Who the fuck cares?? Look, if you wanna post 25 random facts about yourself, send out an email to all your friends or start a damned blog. I like knowing what my friends are up to....but how many of your facebook friends are really your friends? Honestly, if someone takes the time to 'friend me' I'll say 'fuck it' and just accept the invitation. But it's annoying when I open up the web page and at the top of my page I find out that some random girl from high school who I never talked to is 'going shopping with her mom today' or that 'she's scared of bats.' I don't fucking care! And the worst part of facebook for me is the fact that you can now vote on people's status updates and any links they post and decide whether you like them or not. Really? Isn't that what Digg is for? This is dumb.

Okay I'm about ten days late writing about this, but I have to talk about the Top Chef finale. I'd never watched Top Chef before this season. I tend not to like reality TV and figured I wouldn't like Top Chef either. But my roomate watched it. And there was nothing much else to do on Wednesday nights. So I started watching Top Chef, and honestly, I was hooked. The show's smart and interesting (especially for someone who likes to cook, as I do) and they tend not to go overboard on the drama. That being said, what really drags you in are the personalities of the chefs. Inevitably you will get attached to and start rooting for one of them. That brings us to the finale. This one dude named Hosea won. The fucker was annoying as all hell and seemed to have an un-healthy fascination with beating Stefan. Besides all that, he was maybe the sixth or seventh best cook on the show. Given the choice of chefs, I'd take Stefan, Fabio, Carla, Jamie, Jeff and Radhika over the fuck. So I get that all the judge's decisions are based solely on what the chef did on that night's episode, but my question has to be, why is that the case? Why not consider their entire body of work over the course of the season? Wouldn't that ensure that the best chef won rather than a whiny little bitch like Hosea? It was retarded. I was pretty upset after he won. To think I invested my time into an entire season only to see better people lose. Bullshit. I'd relate it to watching a wrestling storyline, only if at the pay-per-view Hulk Hogan lost to the Iron Sheik. To be frank, I don't know if I'll watch Top Chef again next season. The finale was that underwhelming and the winner that unlikable. Maybe try changing some shit so, in the end, we're left with the actual best chef rather than some bitch ass cook that couldn't make a dessert for his life.

I've been watching the new Joss Whedeon series Dollhouse (and from the look of it, I might be the only one). Thus far, the show's by no means great, but is definitely entertaining. Honestly though, the sole reason to watch it is Eliza Dushku. Sweet mother of god is she fucking smoking. Plus she seems to be wearing less and less in each episode. It seems that Eliza always gets looked over when people are describing the hottest girls out there, and it's a shame. She is ridiculously hot. I would do terrible things to her. Awful things. If she became a lesbian I'd get a sex change operation to be with her. So please people, watch Dollhouse, just so we can keep Eliza Dushku on TV. Thanks

Farewell to Number 20

So the unthinkable happened...Brian Dawkins left the Philadelphia Eagles. Coming into free agency, Eagles fans thought they knew three things: 1) The Eagles had a ton of cap room, 2) Andy Reid would continue to ignore the obvious and stubbornly refuse to obtain a big-time play-making receiver, and 3) Brian Dawkins returning to the team was all but certain. When I awoke from my nap Friday afternoon to have my roommate tell me that there was a report of Dawkins going to Denver, it was like someone had just told me that my uncle had been shot. I was blind-sided. As I scoured the internet for information, refreshing ESPN's football page countless times, I was in a state of shock.
It's hard to explain what Dawkins means to this fan base, means to this town in general. Philly fans expect a lot out of their athletes and Dawkins typified every single one of our desired traits. Not only is he one hell of a fucking player (going to 7 pro bowls), but it was the way he played the game and carried himself on the field and off. Dawkins hit hard as shit. There's no other way to put it. We're a city that likes our hits, be they football or hockey related, to be spine shattering, and Dawkins never failed to deliver.
When he was on the field, Dawkins also played with what can only be described as an animalistic passion. The man wanted to win. He embodied what all of us fans wanted. Shit, he pretty much was one of us. And to know that he cared so fucking much really resonated, especially in a time when prima donna, over-paid athletes abound. We loved that passion. We fed off of it.
And off the field Dawkins was one heck of a modern citizen. Allen Iverson he was not. He did a ton for the community and was nominated for the NFL's Walter Payton award this year. And he was here for his entire career - 13 years. When Dawkins started playing for the Eagles I was 11 years old. That's an eternity. My life is absolutely nothing like it was when I was 11, but the one constant through that entire time was Brian Dawkins starting at safety for the Philadelphia Eagles.

Now let's get to him actually leaving. When I first heard he'd signed with the Broncos I was pissed at the entire Eagles organization - Joe Banner, Andy Reid, Jeff Lurie - they should all burn for this. How could you let the heart of the franchise leave so unceremoniously? But the more I read about it, the more my opinion changed. The Broncos gave him a ludicrous contract. A contract no one should be giving a 35 year old safety that, it's safe to say, has lost a step or two. Now, should the Eagles have done everything they could to get him? Yes. Definitely. And it doesn't exactly sound like they did, especially for as far under the cap as they are. They couldn't spend enough to go over the salary cap even if they wanted too. But 7.5 million for Dawkins? Is he worth that much at this point? Probably not, and that's where you have to fault Brian just a little bit. For all his claims about 'wanting to retire an Eagle' and offering to come back at a discounted rate, he eventually went to the team that offered him the most money. Not that I can blame him. Money's hard to come by. When someone offers you more than someone else....well you go with the higher amount. Football is a business after all. It's often simply the fans that get left hurting.

So no hard feelings B-Dawk. In fact, I wish you all the success in the world. You gave us all you had for 13 years. Whether you play one more year or 5 more, here's hoping you somehow get that elusive title that you totally deserve. It'll hurt to see you in a Broncos uniform, but we'll all get over it. At some point in life you realize that everything really is about the money, and for many Eagles fans I'm sure that point came yesterday. I have no idea how we're gonna replace your leadership, your passion, and your un-arguable talent. There's a gaping hole now present on the Philadelphia Eagles. But it's not the end of the world. I guess what started out as anger for me has slowly transformed into acceptance. So best wishes in Denver Dawkins. Hopefully we'll be seeing you in Canton in a few years. And for the record, you better fucking enter the hall wearing an Eagles jersey.

Random musings on a semi-cold Wednesday

So you know what's not hard?....recycling. And if you're gonna take the time to recycle, is it really all that hard to separate paper from plastics? This isn't bloody rocket science people. Paper products go in one trash can, plastics and other recyclables go in another. Not that difficult.

So I have extremely low expectations for Transformers 2 and the GI Joe Movie. So the first Transformers was decent, but on repeated viewings it struggles mightily to be as good as it was in theaters. Now comes news that they're changing the Soundwave character. Soundwave was always one of my favorite transformers and easily the coolest decepticon. Now I'm fine with movies diverging a little bit from their source material (for example making Bumblebee into a Mustang and turning Megatron into some sort of plane), but this is too far. You need Soundwave as the transformer ejecting boom box. What's the point of changing him? Fuck you Michael Bay, you pretentious piece of shit. This movie's gonna suck.
Then you get to GI Joe which, along with Transformers, was one of the integral cartoons of my childhood. A movie with an ensemble cast like this obviously cannot be easy to do. But take a clue from X-men. What made the first two movies of that franchise so good was the inspired casting of the villains - Ian McKellen as Magneto and Brian Cox as William Stryker. So who do we get as the villainous, ghastly Cobra Commander..... Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Yes, the kid from 3rd Rock From the Sun. Now for all I know he may be a great character actor and may knock the role out of the park, but let's just say that I'm extremely skeptical. Suffice it to say that I don't see him bringing the necessary intensity and evilness to the role to give it that sense of realism.

And let's not even go into Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li (which I would only see for the ridiculously hot Kristin Kreuk and Moon Bloodgood) and the truly awful looking Dragonball Evolution (if someone could explain to me why Goku is white that would be awesome). Again, I could be horribly wrong with all these movies. And maybe that's a good thing. Go in not expecting much, and you might be happy just getting a little.


On the other side of things, I'm ridiculously excited for the Watchmen movie. Zach Snyder looks to have a done a thorough job from the clips I've seen. Will it be as good as the graphic novel? Doubful. But does it have a chance to at least be fairly decent? I'd say that's highly probable.

The word 'delish' bothers me. Can we just agree to stop using it?

Words/phrases that should be brought back:
1) Queef - I'm shocked this word never entered the public consciousness
2) Peace out bitches - so maybe it never officially 'left,' but it's so horribly nerdy and white, it just needs to be used more often
3) Bitchin - another word that really never came into it's own
4) Cracker/Honky - is anyone actually offended by either of those terms?

I watch waaay too much TV...

So I've been on a TV show binge of late. I'm a total TV junkie and I've seen waaay too many shows of late. I finished the fantastic third season of Friday Night Lights earlier today. This show is just too fucking good. The characters are so well written and developed that they have a realism to them that forces you to root for them....all of them. Most shows have characters that you absolutely cannot stand (for instance, I don't get how we were supposed to be cheering for Tony Soprano - he was a fat, greedy, lazy fuck that repeatedly cheated on his wife and shot his 'beloved' cousin rather than go to war; I would've throw a party if he got killed) but you don't find that with FNL. It's impossible not to relate to at least some aspect of every chacracter on the show. Despite the critical acclaim, people still aren't watching this show. Personally I blame the lack of publicity NBC gives it and it's Friday night time slot. Now I understand people not staying home to watch FNL. I'm rarely home on Friday nights. Simply put, no show's gonna succeed given such a shitty time slot. But here's what blows my mind.... more people are watching Ghost Whisperer than are watching Friday Night Lights!! You gotta be fucking kidding me. Have you seen Ghost Whisperer?! I'm a huge Jennifer Love Hewitt fan; I'll watch pretty much any movie she's in. But this show is fucking terrible! And more people are choosing to watch it than the utterly terriffic Friday Night Lights?? This blows my mind. What the fuck is wrong with the viewing public? That's just absolute bullshit and beyond my comprehension.

While I'm on television shows, I really think Friday Night Lights, The Office, and How I Met Your Mother need to come with some sort of warning: 'Caution: the following show may contain highly upsetting, heart-wrenching moments of emotional anguish.' Seriously, I don't know if there are three other things that have collectively made me yell so much. All three shows are incredibly well-written with characters that you can't help but get invested in. If you have any sort of heart at all then there will undoubtedly be a few moments during the viewing of these shows where you'll want to scream, cry, or both. Betweem Pam and Jim, Ted and Robin, and the entire cast of FNL, I was simply not ready for the toll these shows would take on me. So looking out for future viewers, I think it only appropriate that The Office, Friday Night Lights, and How I Met Your Mother come with some sort of disclaimer. That way, before you get truly invested, you'll know what you're getting into.

So I finally finished the fifth and final season of The Wire. If there's one show out there that can honestly be described as 'horribly underrated,' it has to be The Wire. The show tackled uncomfortable subjects that other shows have simply avoided all together. I'm not gonna go into a big diatribe on how good this show was, or how much ground it broke, or what it says about our society that it got barely any recognition (I'm sure you can find all that with a simple google search), but I will say that I think it's only a matter of time before we get an urban studies course that's taught using only The Wire. The show's as powerful as any documentary but infinitely more entertaining. It's a show that was likely ahead of it's time and it's a shame that it couldn't be continued for a few more seasons. After finishing the last episode I had an empty feeling inside; it felt like one of my friend's had just moved away forever. The Wire will make you think while you're watching it, and it literally had me pondering for a day after I'd finished the last episode. It was that fucking good and it's a shame that we have nothing like it to fill the gigantic void it has left in the television landscape. Suffice it to say that According to Jim just doesn't fill the space.

Screw You Obama

So I was really happy with the election of Barack Obama. It's nice to have an intelligent, eloquent man as our president. In general I enjoy hearing Barack speak. He's extremely articulate and tends to actually answer questions that are asked of him. Now, before Obama was elected he took out a 30 minute spot before game 5 of the World Series. I wasn't all that pleased by this, but it wasn't that big of a transgression.
Let's explain one thing here first. I'm a big television fan. That being said, Monday's are probably the best TV night of the week....Chuck, Heroes. Big Bang Theory, and How I Met Your Mother. I look forward to my Monday nights like a crack addict looks forward to his next fix. My Monday night schedules are intricately planned around my shows. So when I heard Obama was gonna be doing a little talk thing from 8 to 8:30, I wasn't exactly enthralled. But still, he's gonna change the world etc. etc..... so fine, whatever. At 8:30 I turned on CBS to watch the excellent How I Met Your Mother, and what do I find?....Obama's still on! WTF?! Barack ended up not being done til 9. How I Met Your Mother DID NOT AIR! Now President Obama, if you're gonna talk for an hour, so be it, but don't fucking tell me that you're gonna be done by 8:30 and get me all excited to watch a show only to tune in and find you still talking. Not cool. You get a pass this time, but if it happens again, well, I smell impeachment.

Oh, and a note to the reporter that asked Obama what he thought about A-Rod admitting that he did steroids. Really?? You get one question to ask the president, and that's it? You gotta be fucking me. What the hell did you expect him to say? Unless Obama's gonna be like 'I love 'roids, I use them all the damned time' that's a useless fucking question. You know the answer! And honestly, does this shock anyone? Baseball was already more or less a joke, and no one likes Rodriguez anyways. Um, and pretty sure we have more important concerns than a baseball player doing steroids 6 years ago. Get your fucking priorities straight.

On the Eagles losing (again)

So the Eagles blew another chance to go to the Super Bowl last weekend (that's four NFC championship games losses under Andy Reid...not that I'm counting or anything). Aside from the game against that Rams team (also led by Kurt Warner), the birds were favored in every match-up. Once again, as in the other three losses, the Eagles came out flat; they seemed shocked by everything the other team ran. I guess I'm supposed to say that this loss hurts the most.... but to be honest, it really doesn't. The Eagles losing a meaningful game? Yeah, and the sun also rose today. Sad to say it, but I think I'm numb to the Eagles now. They're like going back to an abusive, cheating girlfriend. You'll have some fun and there'll be good memories, but in the end, like allllll the times before, you'll just end up in pain and with a broken heart. Eventually you kinda just say 'fuck it' and expect her to berate you and sleep around. That's the Philadelphia Eagles. They crush your living soul and you don't bat an eye. Thank god for the Phillies...